Archive | 4:45 pm

Free, Fast … and Sanitary?

3 Apr

Great. I go and get a high-speed Internets connection with Comcast that costs me way too much money each month, and now, just three months later, Google announces its own Internets service — and it’s absolutely free. According to the site, Google believes that “all users deserve free, fast and sanitary online access.” To that end, the service has a 10-times higher flow rate than basic DSL, it’s vaccuum-sealed to prevent water damage, and it uses “discreet DNA sequencing of your personal bodily output to display online ads that are contextually relevant to your culinary preferences, current health status and likelihood of developing particular medical conditions going forward.” Wait a second. What was that again? Yes, this was Google’s April Fools joke. And I didn’t learn about it until today (thanks, Jason). Still, I thought it was pretty funny, so I figured I’d post a belated link.

Is the End Near?

3 Apr

I’m not going to lie: there’s an uneasy feeling in Martinworld today because tonight may just be Haley Scarnato‘s final performance on American Idol. I fear that no matter how well she sings and no matter how hot she looks, she’s a goner this week. After all, if the pattern of boy-girl-boy-girl elimination holds, then tomorrow it’s either going to be Haley or Gina, and I think Gina’s safe for another couple weeks, unfortunately. So yeah, although I hope I’m wrong, I’m resigning myself to the fact that Haley and I will have to part ways after Wedenesday night’s episode. She’s going back to her fiancee, and I’m stuck with Sanjaya. Life is cruel. At least I’ll always have my People magazine spread and my happy memories of our time together. I’ll miss you, Haley. Good luck tonight!

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