Martin's Musings

Photo credit: Davide Ragusa/Unsplash.com

Sure, many people without a romantic partner tend to grumble when February 14 rolls around, and some feel less-than, relative to all the happy couples out there. But not me. I think that’s a misguided way to look at the day.

As Lin-Manuel Miranda famously said last year, “Love is love is love is love is love is love.” Or, to quote the Beatles, “All you need is love.” Point is: There’s no specific rule that says what or who you have to love or celebrate today. (I’ve never seen one, anyway.) Rather, this is a day to celebrate love itself.

And that’s why, on Valentine’s Day, if I don’t have someone specific in my life to love, I spend the day doing things I love, and celebrating all the people, places, and things I love.

This year, there are many people, places, and things to celebrate. For example … Continue reading →

Photo by Instagram user @daleni01

It’s Valentine’s Day again.

For many single people, that’s a source of much grumbling. But not for me.

I may not have somebody to love, but that doesn’t mean I’m not showing love today. (Or, you know, canceling the day entirely.)

In fact, I’ll be showing love to my favorite things all day long. That’s how I prefer to spend my Valentine’s Day: Eating the foods I love, spending time with people I love, doing things I love, going places I love, and so on. (Really, it’s just another way of loving the one I’m with.)

Every year, I compile a list of the people, places, and things I love. What’s on that list this year? Here’s your answer: Continue reading →

Here’s the thing about Valentine’s Day that so many people forget: It’s not just for people in relationships.

It’s a day to celebrate love, and to do things you love doing.

That’s how I spend the day: Eating at places I love, listening to music I love, giving attention to people I love, and so on.

If you look at the day like I do, it’s hard to get all grumbly when confronted with all the flowers, candy, and general mushiness in the air.

One day, I’ll get swept into all that again. But until then, I’ll be celebrating these things that I love, on Valentine’s Day and always:

Continue reading →

I want to like Valentine’s Day — really, I do — but every year I find new reasons to dislike it. (Last year it was the movie Valentine’s Day. This year it’s the excessive amount of emails being sent by 1-800-FLOWERS and other related businesses.) Being single will do that to you. And yet, I think disliking Valentine’s Day simply because you’re single is sorta lame. After all, there’s no shortage of things on which to shower your love today and every day.

That’s why, over the years, I’ve learned to spend February 14 celebrating the things I love and doing things I love — even if they are by myself. It’s like Crosby, Stills, and Nash said: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” My thinking is, if everyone else is going to be happy on Valentine’s Day, then why shouldn’t I be happy, too, spending the day with the person I love: me. There’s nothing unrequited there. I’m awesome!

So today, for starters, I might enjoy a good breakfast, I’ll listen to my favorite tunes, perhaps I’ll eat lunch at a favorite restaurant, I’ll go out of my way to spend time with people whose company I enjoy, I’ll definitely try to avoid conflict and negativity, I’ll leave work at a decent hour, possibly I’ll cook myself a nice dinner (or maybe I’ll just skip to dessert from Crumbs, my favorite cupcake place), I’ll likely talk to my niece at some point, I’m sure I’ll watch a favorite television show or two that I enjoy … and then, when I’m tired, I’ll go to bed and sleep a good night’s sleep. I love me some me, and today is as good a day as any to show it.

Whether you have somebody to love or you are in denial like I am don’t, I wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day.

I’m sure that when I’m actually in a relationship I’ll feel differently about Valentine’s Day, but since I’m single at the present time, I think that gives me the right to make fun of the folks I saw tonight in Harvard Square. (Yes, I know. Longtime readers of this blog will remember that I try to do things I love on VDay, and going to Harvard Square is not one of them. But forget that for a minute, alright?)

Anyway, where was I? … On Valentine’s Day, do couples know how silly they look when they walk around and the girl is holding a single rose with all the care they’d give a child? Or how it looks to all the non-coupled people when they see couples walking together holding hands and looking like they’re out having the single greatest night ever? And how phony it looks when the guy is holding some small bag containing the girl’s gift? Or, better yet, when they’re riding around town in a limo? I was out tonight with three friends — two women and one guy, just for the record — and even though two of them are a couple, it was totally casual. To all who could see, we were just a group of friends hanging out. And I don’t say that to be holier than thou. My couple friends are casual. There was no hand-holding, no PDA, no “couple stuff.” So it was really fun.

Now, I totally get that not every relationship is like that, and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing when couples are affectionate. And I’m also not saying I have anything against couples. All I’m saying is that on Valentine’s Day eve of all nights, it’s amusing to be single and to see couples being all, you know, coupley, because it looks really forced and obvious. And again, I’m sure I’ll feel totally different about this when I’m in a couple; hell, I’m sure I’ll overdo it just like the rest of the folks I saw tonight. But until then … I think this is a funny night to people watch.