What’s happening on college campuses across the country right now is nothing short of disgusting and distressing. Thousands of students — and faculty members, too — are protesting and creating encampments in support of the Palestinian people.
Or so they say.
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We have reached the end of another year, and I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted.
The first half of this year was good, and I had a lot of fun. But the second half? Definitely more stressful and challenging.
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I have no idea where the time went, but here we are at the mid-point of 2023 already.
The fact that these six months seemed to go by so quickly is, I guess, a testament to how much fun they were, overall. There were concerts and shows, lots of movies (36 as of this writing), three trips to Florida (not always fun, admittedly), a good birthday, lots of great TV, meetups with friends, my niece and nephews’ first visit to Boston in three years, and plenty more.
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Well, we’ve come to the end of another year, and what a difference 12 months makes. A year ago, I was frustrated and disappointed, feeling like there was no end in sight for the pandemic and like I was on a bridge to nowhere.
And now … well, if I’m not entirely in a positive frame of mind, I’m at least in a better place. Generally.
2022 was, in many ways, the kind of year I’d hoped 2021 would be: Less crazy. More normal. More fun. The pandemic clearly isn’t over yet, but this year, I found ways to live with it and be more comfortable in scenarios that worried me a year earlier.
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When directors make movies, they work with a music supervisor and a composer to create a soundscape for the film that will deliberately help drive the narrative, boost the desired emotional impact, and leave a distinct impression in the minds of viewers. When done well, hearing a particular song or musical motif included in the movie may trigger memories of that work.
In real life, the process happens somewhat in reverse: The “narrative” of our lives moves forward organically, and the music that triggers memories of certain times and events is not necessarily planned. And, rather than the music itself telling a story, it’s up to us to look at the collection of songs and pick out the themes from the soundtrack in hindsight. In this way, music serves to remind us of the times we’ve lived through, and the music that was playing while we lived — with this caveat: The soundtrack often reflects the times we want to remember. More importantly, it’s made up of the music we want to remember.
I listened to a lot of music in 2021, and my “Now” playlist was everchanging. But as noted, the soundtrack of my year — a.k.a. my 2021 Time Capsule Playlist — largely reflects what was good about these last 12 months.
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It doesn’t take much to make me happy.
Eating a slice of good chocolate cake or a warm chocolate chip cookie. Hearing a catchy pop tune. Receiving a phone call from a friend. Enjoying warm weather in the middle of the winter. Experiencing good customer service. All of these are simple pleasures that make me a smile.
Some people think happiness is something you have to seek out, or that it results from big events. Those people need to stop and appreciate the little things more often.
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Not too long ago, I found what I considered to be a “rock star” parking spot on Boylston Street, just a few feet away from the Copley subway station. It was a Sunday afternoon, and since there’s no charge for parking then, I simply got out of my car and walked away, off to go about my business.
More than an hour later, as I was walking back to my car, I saw a pink something or other on my front window, tucked under the windshield wiper. It looked like a parking ticket. What the hell! Wasn’t parking free today?
Turns out, it wasn’t a parking ticket, but a list of 21 behaviors that would apparently help me find “The Way to Happiness.” I laughed. The source of the information — the L. Ron Hubbard Library — was a bit dubious, but I had to admit, the list had merit: Take care of yourself. Honor and help your parents. Do not steal. Be industrious. Try not to do things to others that you would not like them to do to you. Fulfill your obligations. Do not murder. And so on. You get the idea.
I’m surprised one of the items on the list wasn’t “Show gratitude.” After all, according to Harvard Medical School, “gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.”
As you might assume, I was grateful the flyer wasn’t a parking ticket, as I originally thought it was. And I was thankful for the folks who put it on my car, because the realization and the flyer itself both made me smile.
Corny as it may sound, I’ve learned in recent years that the secret to living a happy life is to appreciate things like that, and to document them. To that end, I started my annual “Happiness Project” in 2015 with that very simple premise: At the end of every day, you should write down one thing that made you happy, whether it’s something you did, something you ate, something somebody said, a TV show you watched or movie you saw, a tweet, or something else. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just something that made you smile. (And yes, the name is a nod to Gretchen Rubin’s “Happiness Project,” which started as an experiment and became a best-selling book, and movement.)
Five years later, I can say it works. At the end of every day, in one long, running blog post for the year, I note something happy that happened. It’s not an intentional thing; I’m not trying to be happy. After all, as Niall Williams recently wrote in the New York Times, happiness is “a thing that [can] not be pursued, only realized and chosen.” I’m recognizing that, even on the seemingly bad days, there’s always something worth remembering that made me smile, no matter how small and inconsequential it may have been. In essence, I’m expressing gratitude every single day.
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I’ve gotta be honest: 2019 was a very good year.
Sure, in many ways, it was not. There was the toxic state of U.S. politics polluting our mindsets each and every day. The Mueller Report. Impeachment. The tweets. Ugh. There were many mass shootings and hate crimes. Rampant anti-Semitism. Hurricane Dorian and wildfires in the Amazon and California left destruction in their wake. Friends and family members battled cancer and had other health challenges. The Notre Dame fire was a historic tragedy. Multiple people I know lost their jobs and are still looking for work months later. We said goodbye to folks like Luke Perry, Pete Frates, Cokie Roberts, and Bill Buckner. And, much closer to home, I said goodbye to my aunt Leslie just a couple weeks ago.
Indeed, every day seemed to have its share of challenges.
But in spite of all that, and at the risk of being myopic or selfish or narrow-minded, when I look back on the past 12 months, I actually have a lot to be happy about. For example … Continue reading
In Billy Joel’s 1974 song “Souvenir,” the Piano Man sings about how “every year’s a souvenir that slowly fades away,” suggesting that we should do all we can to savor our time before it’s gone. He cites postcards, folded ticket stubs, play programs, and vacation photographs as the little things we all save to keep alive the memories of our good times.
At just two minutes long, “Souvenir” is a nice, short song. Definitely a lesser-known gem in Billy’s catalog. And he’s right — though I do take issue with the idea of time “slowly” fading away. Maybe time moved more slowly in the mid-’70s, because here at the end of the 20teens (or whatever this decade is called), it’s more of a blur. I mean, it’s only July 1, and yet it feels like an entire year has gone by since New Year’s Day. Hell, it feels like an entire year has gone by since last week!
But all kidding aside, here we are at the halfway point of yet another year that’s moving a bit too quickly. If you’re anything like me — and Billy Joel, apparently — you’re a collector of memories. Continue reading
Photo credit: Jessica Noel/fabcocktail.com
In November 2017, a live-entertainment producer named Jared Paul opened a venue in Chicago called the Happy Place. Dubbed “the most Instagrammable pop-up in America” by Urban Daddy, the bright, colorful, and yes, photogenic playspace was “a themed immersive experience designed to help you escape for a very short time and immerse yourself in happiness,” Paul explained.
The Happy Place sounds like it was a lot of fun. I mean, who wouldn’t love an interactive “exhibit” filled with balloons and gumballs and confetti and rubber duckies and rainbow grilled cheese sandwiches? I was in Chicago twice last July, and I’m sorry I didn’t know about it then. Otherwise, I surely would have checked it out. (Following its nine-month engagement in Chicago, the Happy Place opened in Toronto in November 2018. It has also been in Los Angeles.)
Of course, actual happiness is a bit more elusive. I mean, it’s not exactly a subtle metaphor that Paul’s pop-up is just temporary; I suspect the high from experiencing it is also short-lived. Further, as researchers often point out, the more you try to be happy, the less happy you’ll actually be. In fact, as a recent study revealed, a constant pursuit of happiness can actually increase feelings of loneliness and disconnection. And you can’t really study how to be happy — though apparently, a class does exist (at Yale University, of all places).
On the other hand, there are small things you can do to boost the hormones that lead to happiness, that have a legit, longer-lasting effect on your well-being. One of the most oft-cited by some of those same researchers is regular expressions of gratitude — in a “gratitude journal,” for example. Continue reading
Martin's Musings 