Thanksgiving is, traditionally, the day when you’re supposed to take stock and give thanks for all that’s good in your life. Even in difficult times, there’s always some good, and we should be grateful for those things.
That kind of perspective is a lesson my father taught me a long time ago. His positive outlook is a trait he’s passed down to me, and I’m so thankful to him for that. Especially this year.
That’s because it has not been an easy one for my family as my father’s health has declined. “Good” days for him are rare; most are tough. Some are very tough. (These past few days, for example.)
In short, the physical and mental effects of Parkinson’s Disease have been really challenging. It’s a predictably unpredictable disease — except that it just keeps getting worse and worse, and we know it won’t ever get any better. My father isn’t the same man he used to be. There is risk in every day. In a word, it’s heartbreaking.
By nearly every measure, 2020 was not a good year. The reasons — many of them stemming from the coronavirus pandemic, the contentious election (and politics just in general), and the multiple cases of racial injustice — have been well documented, so I don’t need to spend a lot of time rehashing them here. We’ve all lived through this year, and we know how bad it was.
But, while the pandemic may have taken a lot from us, including plans, people, and the passage of time, it did not take away perspective. In fact, the darkness of this year only made the light shine brighter.
To that end, there were also plenty of good or fun things that happened, and things that were worth smiling about. These things should be remembered, too. We should be grateful for all the doctors and healthcare workers, the public health officials, the teachers, the supermarket employees, and many other “essential workers” who went above and beyond to keep us safe, healthy, well fed, educated, stocked, and supplied this year. And of course, we should applaud the millions of people around the world who rightfully took to the streets to affirm that Black lives do, in fact, matter, and to demand that others said the same and acted accordingly.
To be clear, I’d never say I had a good year in 2020. I spent much of it alone in my small apartment, I was often confused or angry or frustrated (or all three), I lost my job over the summer, I couldn’t travel or go to the movies or experience concerts or do other in-person things I enjoy, and there’s been a nagging sense that life is passing me by while I social distance. As the Lone Bellow sang in their song “Dust Settles,” “I’ve been missing from the land of the living.”
And yet, amazingly, in spite of everything, I actually found something to be happy about every single day this year. That’s just one reason why I’m ending 2020 feeling incredibly lucky.
Two and a half months ago, Desiree Linden won the Boston Marathon women’s race, by more than four minutes — even after stopping just over an hour into the race to wait while Shalane Flanagan went to the bathroom.
Black Panther, easily the best movie so far this year, came out just four months ago.
And a month before that, we were all cheering when the Minnesota Vikings staged an incredible comeback in the last minute of an NFL playoff game. (Unless you were a New Orleans Saints fan, that is.)
On a recent visit to New York, it got to be that time, and my sister asked my niece, Abby, who she wanted to put her to sleep that night. With minimal hesitation, Abby responded, “Uncle.”
So up we went, and after a bit of her customary procrastination — she had to rearrange her stuff, she had to check out her fish, she had to put stuff away, she had to change from shorts into pants, then change back again, etc. etc. etc. — she got into bed. Continue reading →
I don’t know much, but I know this: You can’t plan to be happy.
That said, you can make an effort to be mindful and appreciate good things that happen and that make you smile. And those things will make you happier. It’s a simple idea, but it’s an effective one.
For a long time now, my sister and I have (affectionately) given my parents a hard time because they can be kind of square. You know, like ’50s TV parents square.
But the nice thing about having Ward Cleaver for a father is that, just like on Leave It to Beaver, there’s always a lesson to be learned, whether you realize it or not. And over the years, me and the Beav — I mean, my sister — have certainly learned a lot.
Today, on the occasion of my dad’s 70th birthday, I wanted to share a few of those lessons. Most of these my sister and I cowrote and read aloud at a surprise party for him yesterday. But since we didn’t want to speak too long and bore the crowd in attendance, I kept a few extras just for this blog post. Continue reading →
My niece and nephews (as well as my sister and brother-in-law) were in Boston this past weekend.
We had a really fun time. It was a great way to end the year.
The six of us managed to pack a lot of stuff into the three days, especially given the snow storm on Saturday, and when they left on Monday afternoon, the three kids apparently fell right to sleep in the car.
I don’t tell you this so you can run out and get me a gift and/or a card and/or a cake and/or plan a party for me — though yes, any or all of that would be appreciated.
It’s more that I need to remind myself that I’m not turning 40 this year. Because all of a sudden, I feel like 40 is right around the corner and I’m not ready for it just yet. Continue reading →
When my niece, Abby, was born, my sister and brother-in-law told me they were committed to visiting Boston twice a year so that I could be more a part of her life, and so she could see where I live.