38 Is Not the New 40

I’m turning 38 this week.

(Thursday, to be exact.)

I don’t tell you this so you can run out and get me a gift and/or a card and/or a cake and/or plan a party for me — though yes, any or all of that would be appreciated.

It’s more that I need to remind myself that I’m not turning 40 this year. Because all of a sudden, I feel like 40 is right around the corner and I’m not ready for it just yet.

It was a couple weeks ago that all of this really hit me.

I started to think about my dad, and when he turned 40, and how I’ll be 40 in two years … and suddenly I was, like, OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO BE 40 REALLY SOON!!!!

There is no way that in two years I am going to be as old as my dad was when he turned 40.

No way.

When my dad turned 40, I was 11 years old. My dad had a spouse, two kids, and a big house. He owned a business, and was an important person in the community.

We had a surprise 40th birthday party for him at the house after going to the Islanders game that afternoon, lots of people were there, and it was a really big deal.

Why? Because 40 was a big deal. Forty was old.

Like it or not, I’m going to be 40 in two years. How is that possible???

I don’t feel as old as that, I don’t act as old as that, and I sure as hell don’t think I look as old as that.

(Thirty-five, maybe. Possibly younger.)

It’s worth noting that I have friends who’ve turned 40 recently, and I don’t consider them old. That’s because 40 today is different from what 40 was 26 years ago. I understand that.

But there’s something about comparing myself to my dad when he turned 40 that’s making me feel old all of a sudden.

So I need to remind myself that I’m not turning 40 this year, I’m turning 38. And I’m in a good place and I’m happy.

Forty will happen and it will be fine. I’ll accomplish all the things I want to, all in due time, whether it’s before I turn 40 or after.

In the meantime, I can enjoy being 38.

I can and I will.

I’m still young, and I will be for a long time.