Archive | 8:30 pm

Just What I Need: More Junk

28 Apr

The funny thing about moving into a new place is that people all of a sudden want to give you stuff. No, I’m not talking about the housewarming gifts I’ve received from family and friends. I’m talking about the endless stream of junk mail that’s arrived in my mailbox ever since I first put my key in the door a month ago. Within days of activating my mail, I was receiving “welcome to to your new home!” mailings from the U.S. Postal Service, Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, Whole Foods, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Welcome Wagon, Welcome Neighbor U.S.A., and other companies and organizations filled with coupons and other special offers and tchotchkeys (like a magnetic message board) just for moving to a new condo and being a homeowner. And that doesn’t include the endless mortgage protection mailings I’ve been sent, informing me about what will happen to my mortgage should something tragic happen to me, or the postcards telling me about blinds and drapes specialists or gardening companies or other servicefolk who offer things I don’t need.

Don’t get me wrong: I like getting mail. I may subscribe to a lot of magazines, but other than that, my mail is generally just bills. Still, I assumed that one of the benefits of moving to a brand new place (not just for me, but completely brand new) was that I wouldn’t be on any pre-existing mailing lists and thus, I’d be safe from the catalogs and other direct-mail stuff I got at my old place. No dice. I suppose when I was signing all those forms at the closing, one of them must have read “Please add me to all the mailing lists that exist for residents of Newton.” That’ll teach me to read what I sign.

It’s nice that people want to give me stuff, even if it is coupons and discounts for things I don’t really need. But if these companies really wanted to earn a new customer, they’d give me something I actually want, like a high definition TV. Oh, how I wish that would fit in my mailbox. Oh well.

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