Crazy Uncle Martin

28 Jul

So I guess it’s official now: I have turned into that person who everyone hates, the one who can’t stop taking pictures of his adorable niece and then sharing them with anyone who’ll look. But really, just look at that picture I’ve posted above. Can you blame me? This kid is beyond cute.

I was in New York this weekend to hang out with Abby and the rest of the family. Now that she’s 12 weeks old, Abby is showing signs of a personality, not just sleeping and eating, like she was doing the last time I visited. So of course, my camera was working overtime — much to Abby’s parents’ chagrin. One day, my niece will forgive me for being such a shutterbug. And Mitzi and Jason will be thankful to have so many great shots of their daughter. Until then, I’ll keep looking at these pictures, showing them off to my friends and all you readers, and I’ll be thinking of when my next chance to see Abby will be. Hopefully it won’t be too long from now.

Click here to see my photo album from this weekend.

No, Thank You?

27 Jul

I got my latest issue of Esquire in the mail yesterday, and it came with one of those wraps around it. Since it was about three weeks after the time when I usually get my issue, I figured this was a notice telling me to pay up or else my subscription will end. Nope. “Dear Valued Reader, I appreciate you being a reader of Esquire,” the letter began. It continued, telling me that I will get guaranteed savings and unlimited delivery — and oh, I don’t have to do anything right now to ensure that. This notice was just for my records.

Alright, fine. Thanks, Esquire. But if I’m such a valued reader, why couldn’t you have sent me my issue on time and sent this non-urgent notice separately? The biggest value of being a subscriber — other than the convenience of having the issue delivered to my mailbox, and the lower price I pay for all the issues — is having the issue delivered, if not before, then at the same time the issue hits the newsstand. Esquire, please don’t be like Rolling Stone, which usually comes about a week after the issue hits newsstands (and that magazine is bi-weekly!). Just get me my issue on time and I’ll continue to be a happy subscriber. Thanks.

He Is a Jelly Donut

24 Jul

Ladies and gentlemen of the world, we present to you … the next president of the United States.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/25835684#25835684

A Mix of Fergie and Jesus

21 Jul

The nice thing about my not having seen Talladega Nights, Semi-Pro, or Blades of Glory is that now, Step Brothers actually feels sorta fresh, and not like another lame retread of the same Will Ferrell jokes I’ve seen so many times before.

Reteaming with his Talladega costar John C. Reilly, Ferrell plays Brennan, a 39-year-old stunted growth adult who still lives with his mother. Reilly plays Dale, a 40-year-old stunted growth adult who still lives with his father. When the two parents fall in love and get married, Brennan and Dale become reluctant step brothers who fight like cats and dogs.

But they find common ground (velociraptors, John Stamos, sleepwalking, etc.) and all is well.

And then it’s not good.

And then it is again. Continue reading →

Seriously Good

19 Jul

I’m happy to report that everything you’ve heard, all that hype, is true: The Dark Knight is awesome.

More crime thriller than comic book movie, this film simply raises the game — for Batman movies, for movies adapted from comic books, for summer movies, for action movies, and maybe even for movies in general.

And that’s not even taking into account how cool it is to watch on an IMAX screen.

The Dark Knight is just one great movie. Continue reading →

Hooray for Bar Stools!

19 Jul

No one ever tells you how difficult it is to decorate an apartment, especially when you’re not the savviest of designers. But today I can cross one to-do off the decorating search list: I got bar stools! (Actually, I ordered them about a month ago, but I picked them up today.) It only took me three months to find the right pair (and by the way, they look better in person than they do in that photo). They’re nice: comfortable to sit in, they swivel, and they’re made of microfiber, so they’re easy to clean. And, now I have the option of sitting at my kitchen table or sitting at the counter when I eat. And when I use my computer, now I don’t have to stand. Oh, happy day. Thank you, Chair Fair. Now if I could just find some nice things to put on the walls (other than Amanda Bynes posters, thank you) … then my new place wouldn’t seem so “new” anymore. But hey, what’s the rush? I’ll find stuff I like all in due time.

Who You Callin’ Chicken?

18 Jul

I like an awful lot of things about my new apartment, but if I had to pick one thing I definitely do not like, it’s my local food options.

I think I’ve now tried every pizza and sandwich shop in Cleveland Circle — Pino’s, Presto, Eagle’s Deli, Roggies, etc. — and I’ve basically had the same thing at every one of them: a chicken cutlet sub. (Often it’s parmigiana.) I have to say, not a one of them has left me feeling satisfied. I mean, how hard is it to put a couple pieces of chicken on a toasted roll, and add mayo and lettuce.

It’s simple, right?

Well, Thursday night I tried Eagle’s Deli for the first time, and that may have been the worst one of all. Continue reading →

Remember When …

15 Jul

It’s funny how in all the pomp and pagentry that preceded the All-Star Game tonight, and all the recalling of memorable moments that took place at Yankee Stadium, there was no mention of the Yankees choking in 2004. I’m sure that was just an oversight. And I’m sure when MLB was planning this most exciting occasion and recalling all the fond memories that fans have of this hallowed ballpark, they simply forgot about Curt Schilling’s triumphant Game Six performance during the 2004 ALCS with the bloody sock, or how A-Rod embarrassed himself when he swatted the ball away when Bronson Arroyo went to tag him out. There wasn’t even a mention of Johnny Damon’s big grand slam in Game 7 of that series — maybe because he was playing for the Red Sox back then. Those may not be fond memories for Yankee fans, but when the House that Ruth Built is torn down (and we can finally stop hearing about what a great place this is/was), they will be the cherished memories I’ll remember most.

Not So High

15 Jul

I wish I was more excited about The Wackness. This movie, about a New York teen who sells marijuana as a summer job and falls in love with his shrink’s stepdaughter, looked pretty cool, what with its soundtrack of 1990s hip-hop and a seemingly amusing hangdog performance by Josh Peck. Alas, the movie doesn’t live up to my own self-generated hype and it ends up being less than dope. Yes, as you may have heard, Ben Kingsley and Mary-Kate Olsen make out in one scene, but that’s mostly just a tease; the scene isn’t even necessary, and it just further emphasizes how little credibility Kingsley’s character has. There are a few good lines and a couple decent laughs, and Peck’s performance does have its moments, but overall, I got no buzz from The Wackness, and that’s why I’m giving it a C-.

Don’t Take a Chance on This

14 Jul

So … this is what it looks like when Meryl Streep is slumming, eh?

In the film adaptation of Mamma Mia!, the musical about a girl (Amanda Seyfried) who invites three men to her wedding in the hopes of finding out which one is her father (a show I’ve never seen, by the way, and have consciously avoided), Streep plays the girl’s mother, who now runs a hotel on a remote Greek island.

Oh, and the whole thing is set to the music of ABBA.

If you’ve read this far, congratulations. That’s farther than I got seeing the movie. Continue reading →

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