15 Things I Just Don’t Understand

Can you smell the wood burning?

I’ve had lots of time to myself over the past month or so, which means I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.

Now, I’m pretty confident in the things I know. But some things I just don’t get.

And those things I spend a lot of time debating in my head. (It’s a very productive debate. Believe me.)

So in the spirit of presenting another side of my thought process(es), here’s a list of 15 things I don’t understand.

1. Why do people who own high definition TVs so often not watch shows on the HD channels? It’s not just limited to people my parents’ age — I know plenty of people my own age who do this too. It’s such a waste.

2. Why is it that no matter how much sunblock I use, there’s always a spot or two I miss, and that’s where I get a sunburn?

3. If you’re not an active user of Twitter — for example, you only tweet once every, like, two weeks — what are the things that get you to tweet?

4. How is Survivor still on TV? Who are the people who still find this show new and novel?

5. Why don’t engaged couples register at stores like Best Buy? I mean, are you really going to use that fancy dishware? Wouldn’t you rather get a new, big-screen TV?

6. How do songs and movies that aren’t good when they first come out get better with age? (Phil Collins’ “Groovy Kind of Love” and the original Footloose, for example.)

7. What has happened to common courtesy? So many people don’t seem to have any. And on a similar note …

8. What has happened to basic writing skills? Did nobody go to grammar school? Does nobody proofread? Yes, social media is more casual than, say, a blog post or a press release, but come on … there’s no excuse for confusing your and you’re (or you and your), or there and their, or adding an apostrophe when you mean a plural instead of a possessive, and other common mistakes.

9. Why did it take me so long to develop a taste — and a love — for sweet potato fries?

10. How does Seasonal Affective Disorder work? I mean, I know it does because I’m definitely a happier, more upbeat person in the summer than I am in the winter (and I’m not alone). But I just don’t understand why or how that is.

11. Why do people say ROFL? Has anyone actually rolled on the floor laughing? (Someone older than eight years old, that is.)

12. Why do smokers always stand right outside the doors of buildings? I don’t smoke, and I don’t want to have to walk through your cloud to get to the fresh air.

13. Why is parking on both sides of the street allowed on Clements Road in Newton? It’s dangerous, and it’s way too tight when cars are actually on both sides.

14. How is it possible for someone to write a song like “Call Me Maybe,” a song that is so damned catchy and irrestible, even though every fiber of your body tries not to give in to it.

15. Why do people with the wrong phone number always seem to call at the most inopportune times, like way too early in the morning or way too late at night?

So there you go. Just a few things that have been on my mind lately.

What don’t you understand? Or, do you have any answers for me? Share them with me in the comments field below.