31 Reasons Why I’m Unfriending You on Facebook

18 May

I joined Facebook in 2005 — April 27, 2005 to be exact — and back then, I had no clue the site would turn into such a central part of my online existence.

I doubt Mark Zuckerberg thought it would be this big either.

And yet, here we are on the day Zuck’s website is going public. Hooray for him, and for anyone out there who’s purchased shares. Try not to spend all your earnings all at once.

While everyone’s celebrating the world’s biggest social network today, I thought it’d be a good time to look at the other side of it. After all, there’s a truth that some people like to admit more than others …

Facebook, while it’s a fun site to use, can also be really annoying.

I’m not talking about the privacy concerns or the increasing presence of marketers and advertisers.

I’m talking about the everyday use by our friends, and how so many of them just get on our nerves.

I asked around, and here’s a list I’ve compiled of 31 annoying things that people on Facebook do, things that may be grounds for unfriending by me or another one of the people in your network:

1. All you do is complain about how hard work or your life is.

2. You not only post too many photos of your kid, you essentially post the same photo of your kid every day.

3. You treat Facebook like Twitter, and post every couple minutes. Especially during big events.

4. You “Like” everything that I post. Everything.

5. Too much duckface. Seriously. Give it a rest. Try a different pose.

6. Your Twitter and Facebook accounts are linked — Foursquare, Path, Instagram, Pinterest, and other social sites too — so something I see on one channel I see on multiple other channels, in pretty much the same way, at exactly the same time. This means site-specific features, like hashtags, look silly and out of place on Facebook.

7. You have a hard time separating personal space from our work relationship. For example, you “tattle” to my manager at work about things I post that you don’t like.

8. When you comment on something I post, it’s referencing a joke that was old, like, 15 or 20 years ago — the last time we saw each other in person.

9. You’re always “stealing” my content and posting it as your own.

10. Too much political talk (especially, truth be told, if we disagree) or religious talk.

11. Holy passive-aggressive, Batman. You’re not fooling anyone.

12. You always post spam links, you sucker. Don’t click on those!! You’re not getting two free tickets on Southwest or a free “iPad 3,” and neither am I.

13. You’re too publicly judgmental about what I post or the companies I support or the views I share.

14. You post news articles, videos, etc. weeks after everyone else has, as if they’re brand new and we’ve never seen them before.

15. You like the things I post, but you always email me about them privately, rather than clicking “Like” or posting the comment on Facebook. (Remember: It’s called social media for a reason.)

16. Every other post of yours is a song lyric.

17. All you seem to do is post about work, or your employer.

18. You’re completely self-involved.

19. You post multiple things about the same topic all within a 5- to 10-minute period.

20. Your comments are irrelevant to what I’ve posted. This is a picture of my niece. Why are you commenting about the Red Sox game tonight?

21. Your posts are too damned long. It’s a Facebook status, not a novel.

22. You always want to chat/instant message when you see me on Facebook.

23. You share all those images with clichéd, cheesy sayings, and the dumb ecards too.

24. Your posts remind me that we have nothing in common.

25. We’re coworkers, but you’re always posting photos of yourself not wearing much clothing. (Alright fine, there are some exceptions to this one.)

26. You keep tagging me in embarrassing photos from many years ago.

27. Your comments on the things I’ve posted are insulting, offensive, or inappropriate.

28. Your posts are riddled with typos. For example, do you really not know the difference between your and you’re?

29. Your posts are like a desperate cry for attention.

30. You post so much about your children that it’s like you don’t have a life of your own. I mean, seriously. Why are you more excited about the 6th-grade dance than your kid is?

31. You complain about what other people are doing “wrong” on Facebook.

Of course, I’m not saying any of my more than 700 friends on Facebook do any of the things on this list. (Heck, at one time or another I’ve been guilty of a couple of them.)

But if any of these common pet peeves sound like something you do, know that I or another person you’re connected with find them really annoying.

What are your biggest pet peeves about your Facebook friends? Share what I’ve missed in the comments section below.

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6 Responses to “31 Reasons Why I’m Unfriending You on Facebook”

  1. Jason Meserve May 21, 2012 at 10:10 am #

    32. Uploading an entire memory card worth of photos without filtering out duplicates and blurry shots. Have some pride in your photo stream!

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