Archive | 8:30 pm

Winter: 1, Martin: 0

15 Feb

To be honest, it wasn’t really a fair fight.

Even though I didn’t have anywhere to go, I decided to be smart for a change and go defrost my car tonight before the iced-up snow got any thicker. And at first I thought I was actually going to do a good job; the heat was up way high, circulating all over the car, I was able to push and release huge chunks of snow and lift them up with my hands, then foist them on the pavement and watch as they broke into multiple pieces, and everything was going well. A few times I actually stood there and laughed. “Winter won’t beat me this time. Look how I can lift the heavy snow off my car. This almost too easy.”

And yes, I spoke too soon, because not five minutes after I started, my ice scraper, my Extender Ice Scraper, which had served me well in the past, broke. In half. The brush and scraper came right off and I was left with that and a pole. So I tried to run the pole over the snow and create blocks that I could remove, but alas, this snow was too firmly attached to my windshield and I didn’t want to risk breaking the glass.

Eventually I got enough off so I could see clear across my windshield, and I thought now it would be time for me to at least try to get out of my parking spot. Well, if I moved two inches, that was a lot. And when I started to smell the foul smell of rubber burning, I knew it was time to give up and go inside.

So, winter, you may have beaten me this time … but it’s a long season and I’m not giving up yet. I’ll be back, with a better, stronger scraper and a better plan, and oh yes, I will beat you. Be ready.

[Full disclosure: that picture is not from this week. It’s from after a storm a couple years ago.]

This Doesn’t Rock

15 Feb

I don’t know whose brilliant idea it was to include aging, wrinkly musicians with the models in this year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, but I’ll just say it like it is: seeing Steven Tyler rocking out with a model (in this case, Bar Refaeli) is just not a turnon. Other not-so-exciting singers in the portfolio: Gnarls Barkley, Panic at the Disco, and Jimmy Buffett. Clearly, it was fun for them — not so much for us. I remember the days when it was just the models in the swimsuit issue. When Kathy Ireland and Elle MacPherson would smile out at me and all the cold of winter would suddenly disappear. Those were the good ole days. This Steven Tyler and Cee-Lo crap just ain’t hot. Not that it’s going to stop me from buying the issue, mind you (that Beyoncé cover alone is worth the price), but I wanted to bitch about it anyway.