Putting My Past Behind Me

15 Feb

On the T this morning, I saw a guy I went to camp with back in the day. I’m not sure exactly what his first name was — he had a brother who wasn’t exactly an identical twin since they were a year or two apart, but looked pretty similar — but suffice it to say, we sat directly across from each other, and after an initial quick eye contact, I put my eyeballs back into my issue of Entertainment Weekly without ever acknowledging him. (And for the record, he didn’t acknowledge me either.)

Of course, I considered saying hello, especially since this was not the first time we had seen each other on the T, or the T platform at Park Street. But I decided it wasn’t worth my time or effort, because back when we were younger, this guy wasn’t especially nice to me and just generally wasn’t a good guy. Now granted, when he knew me, I was a much wimpier, dorkier kid (no comments, please) and I suppose I’d have made fun of me too if I was him. But that was, like, 15 years ago. If I consider myself to be a totally different person from how I was when I went to camp, which I do, I’d hope he would be similarly different. And like me, I’m sure he’s a better person nowadays.

Still, I was stuck in 1991. For example, the fact that I couldn’t remember this guy’s name, but I still remembered him by his nickname. A similar thing happened two weeks ago when I bumped into another camp acquaintance at COSI. While we’ve seen each other plenty of times and have been much friendlier, I was still inclined to call him by his nickname, which was funny back at camp (especially considering he had a younger brother, and they were “big” and “little” versions of the nickname) but isn’t so much now when we’re in our 30s. (For the record, I called him by his actual name.)

I guess I just have a tough time letting go of the past sometimes. But I’m getting there. The other day, as I walked by a framed collage of pictures from my 5-year college reunion, I glanced at a picture of an old, unrequited crush. And after thinking about how our relationship has turned out over all these years, with her not staying the least bit in touch, I finally thought to myself, “What did I ever see in her?” So for the first time in many years, I actually felt like I was over her.

Lesson is, I need to be better about keeping my past in my past. So perhaps it’s time to move on with this guy from the T, and next time I see him I should just say a friendly hello. After all, in the name of my own self-PR, why shouldn’t I let him spread the word to whoever he’s still in touch with that I’m doing well? Isn’t that the best revenge on someone who was cruel to you as a child? And it’s not like I’ve been carrying these bad feelings toward the guy for all these years. They just come up whenever I see him. And especially if every summer I say I want to drive up to New Hampshire and visit the campus, partly to change how I feel about the place.

But until then, I suppose the door to my past will continue to creek open every so often. I have to be better about keeping it shut.

I Hope You All Get VD

14 Feb

I tried. Really I did.

Call it denial if you want, but I really was trying to keep a positive attitude for Valentine’s Day today. I wore a red sweater, I wished people a happy holiday, I went to my favorite take-out lunch place (the Italian Cafe, on Broad Street), listened to my favorite music, and I generally was in a good mood.

But you know what? Work, in all its varying forms, got in the way. Things I had planned on didn’t materialize. People gave me attitude when I tried to understand their confusing emails. It all added up and turned really annoying. And then some people who should know better started to tell me about what good boyfriends they had, and how I could learn lessons from them, and suddenly I got all crabby and pissed off. Yes, I know to send flowers to my girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Don’t you think I would have done that if I had a girlfriend? No need to remind me that I’m single — again, sigh, still — thank you very much. And then I ended up being in the office until around 7:30, because God forbid I should have a life outside of work.

So … a hell of a day. But, the good news is that another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Emphasis on gone. Thank God it’s over. Yes, when it comes down to it, I really hate Valentine’s Day.

Token Dose of Valentine’s Day Humor

14 Feb

True story: This morning I was telling a coworker that I have a date tonight, with myself. Just then, another coworker walked by and said, “I know your date. Make sure you wear protection.”

Not sure why I’m sharing that story. Just thought it was funny.

The Greatest Love of All

14 Feb

So here are my thoughts about Valentine’s Day: If you’re single, like I am, that’s no reason to be mopey and hateful and resentful of all those out there who do have someone special in their lives. Instead, spend the day like I do: spend it doing things you love. Have a good breakfast, go to your favorite lunch place, email and/or call some of your favorite people, watch a favorite movie, listen to your favorite music, eat dinner at your favorite place, eat sweets (including, as I do, a nice piece of cake), and generally, just be good to yourself. Because really, as Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young said, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

And that’s my token cheesy sentiment on this Valentine’s Day 2006.

This One Writes Itself

12 Feb

I suppose the old adage is true:
Guns don’t shoot people, the vice president does.

Since We’ve No Place to Go

12 Feb

I love how on blizzard days like today, the news reports are always the same: “There are treacherous conditions out there, the wind is howling, snow is falling at a rapid pace. It’s a good day to stay inside and off the roads … Now let’s go out to our reporter in Natick!” Followed minutes later by: “Now, out to Plymouth!” And later: “Up to Burlington!” Then “Out to Newton!” And everywhere, it’s the same story: Snow, and lots of it.

Well, in that spirit, I can tell you “It’s snowing in Brookline!” Finally. We’re going to get close to 20 inches. Can’t say I’m all that bummed since we haven’t had a storm like this all season. I’ve got work to do, some food I can bake, and maybe I’ll even purge some more of my books, so I’m going to make the most of the day. In the meantime, I went outside at 10am and took some pictures just in case you, like some news watchers apparently, need proof that it’s really snowing here too.

Unfortunate Photo of the Day

9 Feb

“Look ma, that’s me standing right next to Jessica Simpson! Look at how awful I look! Isn’t it, like, so cool?!”

Poor girl. I’m sure this photo (or a version of it) will be in all the tabloids, since it shows Jessica a day or two before the Grammy Awards, going to meet up with her supposed new boyfriend, Adam Levine, of Maroon 5.

Cover Up

7 Feb

One might think a single straight male like myself would be excited by the sight of both Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson posing naked on the cover of the new issue of Vanity Fair. But check out poor Keira: She’s looking rather gaunt. Yuck. I suppose Scarlett looks alright (I’ve never been a huge fan), but what would have been great was if Rachel McAdams had decided to join them. (According to reports, she refused to pose nude.) Anyway, I’m concerned for Keira. I suppose it’s not cool to make fun of unhealthy-looking thin people, but I guess I can take some degree of comfort in the fact that it’s Oscar season, and I’d imagine Keira will be attending a great many parties to celebrate her nomination for Best Actress. Let’s hope she eats something.

I’m Guilty

6 Feb

Confession of the day: I think I love Lisa Loeb‘s new show on E!, #1 Single.

Sure, any show that professes to honestly portray what it’s like to be single and dating is a bit skewed, especially if the subject is a celebrity (C-list or otherwise). But the second episode, which aired this weekend (or rather, which I saw for the first time this weekend), was pretty funny, and not in the same kind of demeaning way that many reality shows about dating are. Continue reading →

Just Another Manic Monday

6 Feb

You ever have one of those days … ?

Checked my work email around midnight last night, got a bit of an angry rant from a coworker who was traveling on business. So I came in today expecting the worst. First hour or two in the office was pure damage control, trying to fix a seemingly crisis situation. We’re talking defusing a bomb. Code Black, if you saw Grey’s Anatomy last night. But then something happened. Suddenly my coworker, the one who had written the rant, was going out on a limb, disregarding all logic, and trying to defuse the situation in a way that defied all sane reasoning. And you know what? It totally worked. The man is a master of spin. So over the course of the day, things turned downright surreal. All of a sudden we were mostly in the clear. Our hyper-reaction this morning (an appropriate response at the time, given the tone of the email) began to seem like a complete over-reaction. And that crisis we were dealing with was deemed nothing more than a “bump in the road.” As we were told, “If there are no bumps in the road, then you’re not trying hard enough.” It’s after 6pm and I’m still stunned by the turn of events. Talk about a range of emotions.

My apologies for the unspecificity of this posting, but given that it’s a work thing, hopefully you’ll understand. Just wanted to say I’m baffled, confused, turned sideways, and utterly exhausted by the day.

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