Martin's Musings

True story: In 1997, the editors of Backwoods Home Magazine were struggling to fill space in their classifieds section.

One of them came up with the idea to write a mock ad that began “WANTED: Someone to go back in time with me,” and it was printed in the magazine. (Intentionally, for all you quality- and/or process-minded folks out there.)

Years later, the ad gained attention thanks to internet pranksters, who spread it around, adding their own photos, videos, and interpretations.

And now, five years later, there’s a movie, Safety Not Guaranteed, that takes the premise of the ad and dramatizes it. Continue reading →

In space, no one can hear you scream.

But in a crowded movie theater, they can hear you say, “Wow.”

And if you go to see Prometheus, Ridley Scott’s unofficial prequel to his Alien series, you will no doubt say that quite a few times.

It’ll start with the gorgeous opening credits sequence, shot in Iceland, which is just amazing. See this film in 3D and you’ll instantly know you’re in the hands of a master filmmaker, one who not only understands the value of another dimension, but who knows how to use the technology effectively. (In that respect, it’s reminiscent of Martin Scorsese’s Hugo.)

We’re plopped down pretty quickly in Scotland, in the year 2089, where two archeologists, Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway (played by the Swedish Lisbeth Salander, Noomi Rapace, and Logan Marshall-Grant, previously best known for playing Trey Atwood on The O.C.), have stumbled upon a star map that they think will lead them to the secret of life. They interpret this as an invitation to go find the so-called Engineers, who “created” the human race.

And so, we’re whisked up, four years later, onto the scientific space vessel Prometheus, where Shaw and Holloway have joined with mission director Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron) and her crew to travel to a distant moon to find the Engineers. “It’s a scientific mission,” they say. “No weapons necessary.”

Suffice it to say, things go wrong.

Horribly, horribly wrong. Continue reading →

What is Moonrise Kingdom?

Where is Moonrise Kingdom?

In Wes Anderson’s enchanting new film, Moonrise Kingdom may be the name the two main characters give to a section of beach where they spend a special evening together, but it’s clear that Moonrise Kingdom is so much more than one single place.

In Moonrise Kingdom, Sam and Suzy (Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward) are young kids who run away together — he from his scout troop, where he’s the least popular member, and she from a home where she’s a problem child to distracted parents. They’re in love, you see — a relationship that blossomed via a series of letters sent back and forth — and nobody understands. Continue reading →

Ten years after the last Austin Powers movie, there’s been talk that the British super spy is returning to the big screen. (Yeah, baby.)

Coincidentally, 2002 was also the year we last saw a Men in Black film.

That both of these series have been dormant for so long is probably a good thing — especially, in the case of Men in Black, because the second film was not very good, and it’s not like Agents J and K were the most beloved characters of all time. (At least, they weren’t as far as I was concerned.)

And yet, those dapper secret agents are now back (yes, in black), and providing a good example for how to relaunch a film franchise.

Mike Myers, please pay attention. Continue reading →

There’s a game I like to play from time to time called “Fun with Facial Hair.”

The rules are simple: Stop shaving around my mouth, grow a goatee, and see how long I can stand it before my appearance is a complete turnoff, either to myself or to others.

Why do I do this? I’m not really sure.

Sometimes it’s because I’m lazy and don’t feel like shaving (though having to “sculpt” the goatee does take some work).

Sometimes it’s because I need a new look for a little while; friends have taken to calling me “Evil Martin” when the goatee is there, and I kinda like that.

But if the folks in Morgan Spurlock’s new movie Mansome are to be believed, there are three main reasons:

1. I do it to assert my masculinity.
2. I grow hair on my face simply because I can.
3. And I do it to show I’m a man, not a boy.

So there you go. Grunt. Continue reading →

Dear Sacha Baron Cohen,

When most of America first met you in the film Borat, your brand of comedy was new and novel.

The way you didn’t just play a character, you became that person — on screen and in every promotional appearance — was a brilliant display of performance art. You drew laughs from our discomfort, and I loved it.

Your next such movie, Brüno, was less successful largely because you basically did the same thing all over again, just with a gay German fashion reporter instead of a clueless Kazakh reporter. Yawn.

Now you’re starring in The Dictator, playing Admiral General Aladeen, a despot from the fictional North African country of Wadiya, who sees himself as a peer and friend of Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Muammar Gaddafi, etc. The film is a satire of current world politics, a sendup of the Middle Eastern dictator culture, and again, you’ve been out promoting the film in character.

You’ve been at the Oscars, where you dumped Kim Jong-il’s “ashes” on Ryan Seacrest, and on Saturday Night Live with your Hugo director, Martin Scorsese. And you’ve made multiple other appearances as Aladeen, making many of the same jokes we saw in the film’s trailer and that we see in the film itself.

If your intention is to shock and offend us, then why ruin the gags for us before we’ve even paid for a ticket?

I’m sorry to be the one who has to tell you, but at this point, it’s not just “been there, done that” … it’s over. Continue reading →

In the new film The Five-Year Engagement, Jason Segel plays Tom, the kind of nice-guy boyfriend that most women would love to find.

Actually, he’s a bit too nice, and a bit too in love with his fiancée, Violet (Emily Blunt), and that makes him a bit of a pushover, which is why Tom ends up quitting his job as a chef in San Francisco, leaving his brother and family behind, delaying his wedding, and moving with Violet to Michigan, where she’s been accepted into a two-year post-doctorate program.

Awwww … how sweet of him.

But when Violet’s position gets extended, Tom’s life becomes even more of a shred of what it once was, and soon these two lovebirds are struggling to stay together.

They’re not the only ones. Continue reading →