There’s No Shame in Losing

Well, so much for my clothes fitting better, and any thoughts I had about losing weight.

Yesterday at work I participated in a munchkin-eating contest, and to cut to the chase, I ate 77 of those glazed bites of, um, air-puffed sugary cake.

Why?

I don’t know exactly.

I mean, one line of thinking was that if I could handle Old Country Buffet, how hard could it be to eat a few munchkins?

But it was fun. (And then it sort of wasn’t.)

And what may stun you is that 77 only earned me fifth place.

Yes, that’s right. The winner ate a whopping 105 munchkins — and he probably could have eaten more.

So what was the deal with the MEC? Why did we do it?

There was no reason. It was proposed by one of the departments, and as soon as folks heard about it, they signed up to participate.

A total of 18 people took part, including two women. We all paid $11 each, and rumor has it the coordinators purchased 1,400 munchkins from Dunkin’ Donuts for us to eat. 1,400!!! (That’s about 77 per person.)

The way it worked was this: We started with a box of 25. When we finished that, we got a plate of 10, and we’d be given 10 more for as long as we could keep up. And then, at the end of 30 minutes, whoever had eaten the most munchkins would win.

Actually, it was whoever had put the most munchkins in their mouth would be the winner. Which is why at the buzzer, two guys stuffed a handful in and then had a hard time swallowing them.

We only ate glazed munchkins — which had its pros and cons — and could not dunk them while we ate.

Water and other beverages were allowed, however.

What’s the secret?

If you’re curious, there was no secret to how I was able to eat 77 munchkins (and do so rather easily), although I think the combination of eating a little lettuce and taking some Tums beforehand helped. It certainly vaulted me above the people next to me, who only ate 60 (yes, I said only).

Actually, I had every intention of quitting after 75, but another plate showed up so I kept on keeping on and managed to eat two more.

Amazingly, I wasn’t even sick after those 30 minutes.

Full, yes. But not sick.

Instead, I was on a sugar high for the rest of the day, bouncing off the walls and unable to focus on anything.

And no, I didn’t eat anything else. Not even dinner. In fact, now that all the dust has cleared and I have figured out that I basically ingested about 3,850 calories in only 30 minutes (nearly double the suggested daily allowance), it would probably be good if I didn’t eat another thing for a little while.

Kobayashi I am not. And that’s more than okay with me.