An Old Joke

28 Mar

Manischewitz has added a logo to its boxes of Passover cake mixes, matzahs, and other products this year that says “Over 120 years!” I’m not sure if that’s how long the company has been in existence or how long the boxes have been sitting on the store shelves. (Insert laughter here.) After all, some of that stuff sits on the shelf for a very, very, very long time, and it tastes just about the same on day one as it does weeks and months later.

Ah, Passover food. So bad, and yet, so necessary. I had my annual round of thoughts about this subject today when I went to Stop & Shop to do some shopping for the holiday (it starts on April 8). $4 for 12oz of grape jelly. $5 for two cans of tuna fish. $5 for a box of cookies. It’s crazy, especially because I only need the stuff for eight days (less, actually, considering I’ll be out of town for the first three days). That’s why I always save my receipts — so I can return all my extra food and stick it to the man.

What made my shopping trip today a little more amusing was a (slightly weird) young woman who started to chat me up about how it looked like I was going to be doing some cooking (based on what? Two cans of tuna, a bottle of Coke, some cake mix, some cookies, and some mayonaise?) and wasn’t Passover such a great holiday, and blah blah blah. When I replied that I wasn’t such a big fan of Passover, she started to list out all the things that are apparently “so good” about it, like herring (yuck), chopped liver (yuck), fried matzah (not bad), and gefilte fish (alright, that one I like, but as I told her, it’s a food I can and do eat year round). And then she started raving about how great peanut butter and jelly on matzah was, and I said it’s fine for a week, but I’d rather have it on bread. Quite frankly, the only Passover-specific food I genuinely enjoy is the Manischewitz Coffee Cake, which is actually quite good.

But anyway … at that point, because she wasn’t getting the hint, I excused myself and walked off to shop in another aisle. If this woman was trying to change how I feel about Passover — or, more likely, trying to get me to ask her on a date — she failed. I may not be an expert on how to pick up members of the opposite sex, but I can say this: using Passover as your “in” definitely doesn’t work. At least not with me.

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