Women Problems

22 Apr

How I wish In the Land of Women was really a porn film, like it sounds like it should be. Then it might have had a better plot, for starters. Instead, this film — the story of a guy (Adam Brody) who deals with his model girlfriend dumping him by heading to Michigan to take care of his grandmother — is a real mess. It’s got a whole bunch of clichés, including a wacky old grandma and the family across the street that’s full of problems (cancer, an extramarital affair, estranged mother-daughter relations, a precocious younger sister). It’s got a hip soundtrack (at least it does for half the movie) sure to attract the young’uns. It’s also got, in addition to Brody, Meg Ryan and Olivia Dukakis in lead roles. What it doesn’t have is direction, focus, or anything really worth recommending. It doesn’t even have a poster or a marketing campaign that accurately reflects what the movie is really about (then again, considering I was unsure of the plot, maybe this film is just unmarketable).

I’ve seen ItLoW described as a cross between The Graduate and Garden State (yes, your assumptions about the implications of that are true), but if the comparison was accurate, then this would actually be a good movie. I’m sorry to say the best thing about it — alright, fine, the two best things are the first five minutes and the last five minutes. Problem is, the good joke in the first five minutes has already been spoiled in the trailer. And the last five minutes have such promise that you wish the film had gone down this road much earlier and that the actress with a surprise cameo had been around a lot longer. Oh well. I don’t remember when I’ve yawned more, wondering when the movie was going to end. And when the lights came on, I turned to Stephani and asked, “What was that?” Yeah, I really didn’t like this movie all that much. I’m giving it a D+ (the plus is only because I liked the last five minutes that much).

We All Scream

22 Apr

It’s no surprise that after such a beautiful day, J.P. Licks was the place to be last night in Coolidge Corner. It seemed like everyone — jubilant Red Sox fans, parents with young kids, couples on date night, high school girls with little fashion sense, families, pets, etc. — was getting a scoop, and the line was out the door for much of the time that Joe, Marie, the twins, and I were there.

So how thankful was I that there was plenty of entertainment to go along with my soft-serve. No, I’m not referring again to the high school girls. I speak of the folks who tried in vain to get into the perfect parking spot in front. We’re talking premium rock star parking, with plenty of space to slide in. First there was a young lady who totally didn’t cut the wheel correctly, and who just had to answer her cell phone while parking — and holding up traffic, I might add. Her first try, she was still a couple feet from the curb. And after two tries, she just gave up and drove away. She was followed by an older couple who undershot it and actually bumped into the car behind them before leaving their car jutting out into the street and getting out — ignoring all the people who were watching and saying under their breath, “Bad parking job. I can’t believe they’re going to leave it like that.”

Why watching inept parallel parkers never gets old, I just don’t know. But on this spring night, it was great fun.

Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be

21 Apr

All the pieces are in place for Fracture to be a solid, great popcorn thriller. There’s an interesting premise — a guy shoots his cheating wife and confesses to it, and yet, not all the pieces are in place for a conviction — and a great acting duo in the lead roles. There’s even the director of such films as Primal Fear and the underrated Frequency. And yet, despite a crackling first half, filled with some fun lines of dialogue, the wheels somehow come off and Fracture turns boring and somewhat predictable. I guessed the film’s twist (one of them anyway) pretty early on, for example. It’s enjoyable to see Anthony Hopkins chewing scenery, and Ryan Gosling (so good in Half Nelson) tries hard, but ultimately Fracture doesn’t make a strong enough case. And that’s why I’m only giving it a B–.

Yeah, That’s City Life

21 Apr

As Lily Allen sings, “Sun is in the sky, oh why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?”

Simply stated: This weather today is awesome.

Hmmmmm …

20 Apr

Here are some questions I’m asking on this sunny, very nice Friday afternoon:

* Will anything ever take up residence where Zathmary’s used to be?

* Will the weather actually be as nice as predicted this weekend, and will it stay that way until the fall? Does this mean winter is really over?

* Can Dice-K beat the Yankees on Sunday, or will he have the same lame result as his last two games, where it looks alright but he still loses? Is he really the worst starter on the team??

* If a crowded T train on the morning commute is bad, then is there much worse than having to be stuck next to a guy who reeks of cigarette smoke?

* Is there a funnier show on TV right now than 30 Rock?

* Indians didn’t even like Sanjaya. So aside from the 13-year-olds, who did?

* I’m a third of the way to my WalkAmerica fundraising goal. Will you help me go all the way?

Yes. There Is a God

18 Apr

Goodbye and good riddance, Sanjaya! I suppose it’s safe to start watching the show again. But I’m still going to try not to.

I Love Being a Carnivore

18 Apr

Somebody tell me: Is there a better burger than the ones made at Mr. Bartley’s in Harvard Square? Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm!! Went there tonight with Tisha and just-back-from-Deutschland Nina and Jeremy. I had a bacon cheeseburger. Yum-o. What juicy, meaty, chewy, tasty, carnivoreriffic goodness. I may not like Cambridge, but this is one place I’ll always go back to. Of course, between my free ice cream last night and now my big ole burger tonight, it’s clear that I need to go on a diet. At least for a few days.

No Avoiding It

17 Apr

You know, I tried to avoid American Idol Tuesday night. Really I did. After last week’s results show, I said I was done. So I went to Ben & Jerry’s at the Pru for Free Cone Night and waited on a long, long line that stretched from the B&J’s counter all the way around the perimeter of the ‘court to Pizzeria Regina. Didn’t mind it, either, especially when I was enjoying my free cone of Phish Food. And I loved when all the parents would show up with their smiling, happy kids and would try to convince the little ones that the line was too long to wait. But God bless the kids, who always knew better. “I don’t mind,” I heard one say. Kids always win, don’t they? Good for them. Free ice cream is worth it.

Anyway, and then I got home and was excited to turn on the TV to watch the Sox. And not just that, but Dice-K on the mound again. But I tell you … if Idol was an embarassment, this felt worse. Sure, the line might not be as bad as the end result, but c’mon — we (and I say we like it came out of my pocket) didn’t pay $103 million for 2-1 losses and three walks in one game. Didn’t pay $103 mil for wild pitches that load the bases, and runs that are walked in. What a bum this guy is. I can’t believe he’s 1-2. That makes him worse than a bum — he’s a loser! At first I thought it was just the weather, but tonight’s game was in a dome. It’s not the lack of run support. This guy should be lights out. So there’s really no excuse. And here come the Yankees this weekend. If Dice-K is our great hope to lead us to another World Series championship, then let me be the first to say it: we’re doomed. Again.

So … long story short, at 9:30 I decided to watch Idol after all (my DVR recorded it automatically — damn that series recording). And I have to say, Melinda Doolittle made at least part of it worth it. I just wish Blake Lewis did Ryan Adams proud. What an awful rendition of a great song. (And I won’t even mention that other guy.) But I promise I won’t be watching anymore. I’m so done with that show. (Until next week, I’m sure.)

Yum

15 Apr

It’s that time again, kids. This Tuesday is Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s, or as I like to call it, The Most Wonderful Day of the Year. From 12 to 8 p.m., head on down to your local B&J scoop shop and pick yourself up a free cone of AmeriCone Dream or Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough or Half Baked or Phish Food, celebrating its 10th anniversary. It’s all good. (Thanks to Stephanie for the tip.)

And in related news, Baskin-Robbins has apparently done away with their free cone night and instead now does a 31-cent cone night, a benefit for the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation. This year’s event takes place on May 2 from 5 to 10 p.m. Eat up and give to a good cause, all at the same time.

Martin: 15, The Man: 0

13 Apr

It’s one of my favorite Passover traditions: the day I go back to Shaw’s and return all my unopened, unused food. My philosophy on this is simple: if they’re going to overcharge me for food I need for only a week (and that in some cases really isn’t very good), then they’re going to take back whatever I have left after the holiday. Last year I got back $27 for my extra food. This year, thanks largely to smarter buying, I didn’t have as much to return, so I got a smaller amount back. Still, it was worth it. Here’s what I returned:
* two cans of tuna fish
* a box of cookies
* a two-liter bottle of soda
* a box of chocolate lollipops
* a jar of gefilte fish
All that was worth about $15 back in my pocket.

Now, I realize some may say doing this (and bragging about it) is chintzy, or worse, that it confirms a stereotype. I counter by saying there’s no reason why I should have to pay $5 for a box of 24 subpar bite-size cookies, or $2.59 for a can of tuna fish, simply because I have no choice in the matter. Every year we’re taken advantage of on Passover, and if I can even the score by returning what I don’t need and getting my money back, then I see nothing wrong with that.

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