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To My Neighbors …

2 Mar

Just a quick, public note to say how much I hate you. I hate you very very very very much. I hate you so much and I can’t stand it anymore. I want your violin strings to snap. I want your bows to break. I want both of those things to cause you bodily harm. I wish nothing good for you. I’m more than pissed off.

Since September I have put up with your your violin playing, complaining about it only on this blog. It has gone on day and night, for hours on end. And I think I’ve been more than tolerant and flexible about letting you play without banging on any doors or walls, or reporting you to the building management company. I’ve even dealt with your smelly cooking, which has stunk up the hallway, and every so often would back up into my kitchen sink — largely due, I was told, to the fact that you did not understand how to use a disposal. I’ve never spoken to you, even though we live next door to each other. But that day is coming and you’re not going to like what I have to say.

Do you have any conception of how loud you are, and of the fact that if I walk to the opposite end of the hallway I can still hear you playing? Do you know how annoying it is to get home from a long day of work and hear your screeching violin playing echoing through the hallways? Do you know how difficult it is to enjoy a TV show or to relax at night when you’re playing? Do you have any common decency or respect for your neighbors? Do you? I guess not.

Last week when you began playing violin during the Oscars, I finally lost all my patience, went beyond my breaking point, and reported you to Hamilton. I know they called you and sent you a note telling you it’s building policy that loud noise such as violin playing is not allowed. And yet, it’s Sunday evening and after listening to both of you playing your violins this afternoon for two hours — solo, and then together, and then solo again — now you’ve started again. Ladies, that’s enough. No, it’s more than enough. I’ve had it. This is fu**ing ridiculous. In fact, I’ve complained to Hamilton again (they asked me not to complain directly to you). Actually, I emailed them this afternoon and I’ve done so again this evening. And yes, I know I’m moving in about a month, but I don’t care. You must stop. Now. You must go to the practice studio at your school and practice there — just like my upstairs neighbor does. You must never cross me in the hallway. You must cease to exist in the building. And most definitely, you must stop knocking on the wall the very second I laugh at something on TV, as you have done twice this past week.

I’m generally a very nice person. But even I have my limits. If you keep playing your violin, I will keep reporting you to Hamilton (as they have asked me to do), and they will kick you out of the building. I hope that when they send you a second notice tomorrow morning that you will understand what they say and take it to heart. Otherwise, it will only get worse for you. Because if Hamilton’s efforts don’t produce results, then you’ll have to deal with me. And I can assure you, when my passive aggressive nature turns less passive, you will not like it. I, however, will enjoy making my last weeks in the building as unpleasant for you as I possibly can.

So please, for your own sake, please (and yes, I’m still saying please) quit it with the violin playing. Immediately.

Thank you.

– Martin

ps: Obviously, this picture is not of you. Just in case anyone else was wondering.

Making an Offer They Can’t Refuse. Hopefully.

17 Feb

Well, folks, it’s with mixed emotion that I tell you I’ve made an offer on a condo.

If you know how indecisive I can be, you know this is a very big deal.

Hell, it takes me a while just to buy a pair of pants! Continue reading


19 Jan

The scoreboard now reads Martin: 1, Neighbors: 0. This morning, just after 9 a.m., my upstairs neighbor began to play her piano in the room right above my bedroom. Annoying. But then a violin joined in. Soon it sounded like there was a veritable chamber orchestra playing above my head, as I was trying to sleep in. So since my patience had finally run out, I decided to do what I should have done with my other neighbors a long, long time ago: I fought back. I grabbed a mop and banged on the ceiling three times. And what do you know, they stopped instantly. Minutes later, I looked out my window and saw my neighbor and her violin-playing friend (who, by the way, was not a violin-playing neighbor I knew about) scurry out of the building; they got in a car and drove away — most likely to a practice space at B.U., which if you ask me, is where they should have gone to begin with. What happened to common courtesy? I mean, do people really think that sort of thing is alright and that they won’t be disturbing anyone? ARGH!!! So call me happy this morning, even if I got up earlier than I would have liked. That’s the last time my neighbors will use this building to play their music. I hope they got the message.

Winter Wonderland?

21 Dec

Thought I’d post a couple photos I took this morning in the ‘hood. They’re not quite wonder-ful, but they are snowy. What a fun weekend this is going to be, digging out my car tomorrow (finally) and seeing a lot of this snow get washed away on Sunday when it rains.

Hello, Winter

4 Dec

Because I have nothing better to do, I’ve been doing a bit of thinking lately trying to decide what the worst thing about winter is.

Is it the bitter cold temperatures, and the winds that seem to make it even colder, and the fact that it seems to become cold right away without a slow drop in temperature?

Is it the iced up sidewalks that taunt me and almost dare me to walk on them and not fall? I include the parking lot outside my building, which I have no choice but to cross every day if I want to go somewhere; half of it is a sheet of ice right now.

Is it the over-crowded and less frequent T cars? Every year, same old story.

Is it dangling on the edge of being sick, and trying ever-so-hard not to catch a cold from everyone around me who seems to have something already.

Is it the fact that everyone’s so bundled up that they look almost unfriendly and unapproachable?

Is it not wanting to go outside to do stuff because it’s so much nicer on my couch in my warm apartment?

It may actually be a tie between all of those things. Winter just really sucks. There’s absolutely nothing good about this time of year (other than the holidays, of course). Brrrrrrrrrr…!

One More Reason to Be Nice to Your Neighbors

28 Oct

Yes, I know. Sometimes I can be a real jerk.

Case in point: I saw this sign hanging in the lobby of my building this afternoon. Now, I don’t know who this person is, but I know it’s been about two months and she still hasn’t taken the old resident’s name off the mailbox and replaced it with her own. I also know that I don’t like any of the new folks who live in my building. If I liked this person, I wouldn’t mock her poor spelling or bad grammar. I mean, how do you misspell lost?? And if you do, wouldn’t you just start over on a new piece of paper? Also, who (mis)spells “thanx” with the k? I mean, really. Use a computer, where you have the luxury of spell check. Maybe then your sign will get attention for the right reasons. I don’t have this woman’s “pavcel,” and this sign — not to mention all the other crap I’ve had to deal with — doesn’t make me want to help her find it.

At Least He Was Polite

21 Oct

Maybe I am getting old. As I was getting home this evening, one of my younger new neighbors was also coming in the front door. So being the nice guy that I am, I held the door open for him. He responded by saying, “Thank you, sir.” Ouch.

Quiet Down, Kids

17 Oct

Over the past two months, I’ve been in touch with my building management company a couple times about the increase, not just in noise, but in the lack of respect for neighbors in my building.

First there was the flute and violin playing next door, then there were the doors constantly being propped open, and then there were the parties two weekends in a row where college students would hang out right outside the front door of the building until early hours of the morning, talking loudly and smoking.

And it’s not that I have a problem with them smoking, per se, it’s just that the weather was nice those nights and my windows were open, and the smell of the cigarettes wafted up to my apartment.

And worse, on Columbus Day, I left the building and found all kinds of trash — cigarette butts, empty cigarette boxes, crushed cans of beer — in the flowerbeds outside the front door. Continue reading

Live in Concert

5 Sep

Great news everyone: not only do I have a flute player living next door to me, but I learned last night that I also have a violinist. Yes, I said last night. As in, 9:45 p.m. It was a lovely evening performance. But yeah. There’s a violinist and a flautist living in one apartment, right next to mine. (Thankfully they weren’t playing their instruments together at the same time.) What’s next: A pianist? A cellist? A trumpeter? Will I discover a whole orchestra has moved in next door?? This is getting ridiculous, and it’s only September 5.

This One Time, in My Apartment Building …

3 Sep

At 11 a.m. this morning, I learned the very happy news — it’s thrilling, really — that my new neighbor next to my living room plays the flute. Oh joy. And it’s no American Pie kind of thing. Instead, I wish she’d stick it where the sun don’t shine. What’s worse: her twittering away on that high-pitched, silly-sounding instrument, practicing the same scales or lines of music over and over, or my former neighbor, who was prone to playing the same Shakira or Gwen Stefani songs over and over and over? The answer is neither. They both suck. I give this new girl a week of annoying me until I complain. Have I mentioned recently that I can’t wait to move?

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