I Can Think of 99 Better Ones

24 Mar

Who doesn’t love the ’80s?

But do you love the ’80s enough to watch the video for “99 Luftballons” (aka “99 Red Balloons”) over and over for a solid hour?

If so, tune in to VH1 Classic this Sunday at 2 p.m. EST and you will have your chance, thanks to a $35,000 donation by a viewer.

Of all the videos in history — or even the 1980s — that’s the best this person could choose? What about Michael Jackson’s “Thriller?” Or Prince’s “Purple Rain?”

Still, for kitsch alone, that’s a pretty good choice. I mean, at minimum, it’s better than Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”

(Hey, what do you want? It’s been a slow and not particularly blog-worthy week.)

Ace Is a Hole

22 Mar

I’m not sure what I’m sorrier for: the fact that I haven’t been posting all that much over the last week and a half, or the fact that this is a post about American Idol. You see, as much as I’ve tried to avoid it, I’m now completely back on the sauce. Last year I was able to go the entire season without watching a single episode. This year I have a series recording set on my DVR. Oh well.

So for better or for worse, embarrassment be damned, here are my thoughts on last night’s show … We all know Kevin Covais should go home. We all know Lisa Tucker will go home. But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Ace is the worst one of the bunch. I’d love it if he received the lowest number of votes and is sent home tonight.

Just watch the guy when he’s singing. He looks like he’s shell-shocked. Like he was playing a joke, thought he’d coast on his looks alone, and is freaked out because he doesn’t know how much longer he will get away with it and when he’ll be revealed as a total fake. The guy can’t sing all that well, inserts his lame falsetto just to win a few extra votes, and just generally sucks. So if we could vote on who to kick off, Ace would get my vote. Yes, even over Kevin Covais, who I think we just have to live with for a couple more weeks despite the fact that he looks 12 and is clearly being out-classed and out-sung by most everyone else. Some folks make it to the finals just to bring in ratings, talent be damned.

And while I’m writing this lame entry, what the hell is up with Paula Abdul? Is she even watching the same show that the rest of us are? How can she love each and every performance unconditionally? Simon is right: this is a singing competition, not one about who looks the best or dances well. And If Randy says someone “worked it out” one more time, I may have to scream.

Who’s going to win? Well, expect Chris Daughtry and Katherine McPhee to be in the finale. That’s no shocker. Mandisa won’t make it, but does it matter? She’s better than all the other contestants anyway and doesn’t need this competition. And sometime really soon, Kelly Pickler’s idiot routine will tire itself out. Sigh … I just wish I didn’t care so much and feel so invested. And for the record, none of them are half as good as Kelly Clarkson was.

P.S. I’m loving that the send-off montage each week is set to Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day,” which I’ve been a fan of for a month or so, before y’all were hearing it on your radio dials. I told you that song would be big.

Feeling Blue

19 Mar

Damned Comcast gave me another faulty cable box.

When I turn on my television, all I get is a blue screen.

Because I’ve had some kind of a problem for about a week now, I’ve unplugged and replugged-in my box a couple of times, as I’d been directed to do before. And usually it worked this week, even if sometimes it was only briefly.

But today, the box seems to have completely died. I can’t seem to fix it, and I’m going to have to go to the billing/service center in Allston to switch boxes — that, or wait around my apartment for someone to stop by (no thanks). Continue reading

Man of the People

19 Mar

As celebrity sightings go, I suppose this one was pretty minor. But it was still kinda cool to see city councilman Mike Ross grab a spot in line behind me at the self-check-out line at Shaw’s on Commonwealth Ave. this afternoon.

In all the hub-bub of the 5pm crowd, you don’t expect to see someone like Mike Ross amongst the shoppers, much less on the self-check-out line. But there he was: just as cool and slick as he looks on TV, but taller than I expected, and a heck of a lot tanner. (I’m guessing he recently came back from a vacation. Must be nice.)

I was standing there, watching a clueless older woman try her hardest to figure out the machine so she could check out with her two items, wondering why I always get stuck behind these people, when Mike Ross swooped in, seemingly from out of nowhere, grabbing some flowers and something else he’d left on top of the machine while he stepped away. (Nice.) Nonchalantly, like it was no big deal, he stepped behind me and got in line. And when this woman finished, and I stepped up, I felt powerful knowing I was the only thing preventing Mike Ross from checking out and leaving the store. (Alright, I didn’t really feel that way. In fact, I’m not sure why I even wrote something as dorky as that.)

Mike Ross watched as I deftly used the machine, scanning my items one by one, with no errors and no commands by the machine to rescan or check my bags, and getting it all done in what must have been record time. Except for a small panicked reaction when my slice of cake tipped over, I was in prime form. I’m sure he was impressed. (ha ha ha)

At the same time, I was intrigued and a little bit amused by the fact that no one but me seemed to recognize the guy. I mean, it’s not like he’s Mayor Menino or Ted Kennedy or anything, but the guy does represent many of the people in the supermarket — even if they are college students. So you’d think some of the folks would know who he was. And it was Sunday, a day off, so there was no need for him to introduce himself or make a thing out of it. So, he just checked out and headed on his way like he was any other shopper. (Unfortunately, I can’t tell you how good he was at the self-check-out. That’s because I am not a dorky stalker and didn’t stick around to watch.)

Anyway, the message is this: Mike Ross is just like you or me. He goes to the grocery store in the middle of the Sunday rush and scans his own stuff. Good man, that Mike Ross.

He’s Having a Party

18 Mar

Altogether, Dave Chappelle’s Block Party is a really great, really fun, really upbeat, really exciting movie.

But I think for me, it’s a movie made up of great individual moments.

Like Kanye West’s performance of “Jesus Walks.”

Or The Fugees’ reunion.

Or when Erykah Badu’s wig nearly blows off.

Or when a guy in a store apologies for cursing and Dave says it’s alright, “this is a movie.”

Or when a Dayton, Ohio, woman is packing for her trip to New York and she wonders what to wear to a rap party, saying “I should have bought a thong.”

There are almost too many to mention, and they all add up to something really great. Continue reading

What I Like About Her

14 Mar

Alright, so this posting may make me out to be a giant perv, but I can’t help it: I loves me some Amanda Bynes.

Her cherubic face, her smile, her girl-next-door charm, her comedic skill … the girl’s just dreamy.

How appropos that she’s on a TV show called What I Like About You.

For me, it goes back to when she was in Vanity Fair, which remains one of my favorite issues of all time.

So I was really excited to see her new film, She’s the Man, tonight.

Really.

And it’s not just because of how good she looks on the movie’s poster. Continue reading

End of the Line

10 Mar

My inbox this week has been full of people’s cold remedies (plenty of water, Goldenseal, and something called “garlic mush,” for example), but today I got this message:

“Is the well so dry that you have to subject your readers to your ceaseless whining about your head cold? Honestly! It’s that time of year, get a grip. Let’s put it in perspective: would you find my ramblings about migraines at all compelling??”

So consider this my last posting about my cold. Why? Well, the emailer would have you believe it was because she wields enormous influence over me (ha!), but it’s actually because I’m feeling better today. Sometime last night during dinner (at Masa in the South End. Yum), there was a clearing. Was it the spicy food? Possibly. Was it the loud noises that forced their way into my head? Could be. Was it my strong desire to hear discussion on the other side of the table? I wouldn’t doubt it.

Whatever the reason, my head congestion ended, and now, hours later, my cold is on its final breath. Ha ha! You thought you could defeat me, cold, didn’t you? Well, it may have taken me longer than I wanted, and you may have put up a strong defense against my various remedies, but I have won out. You are beaten down and I am victorious. And now I will enjoy a fun weekend.

Let this be the last I write about colds, flus, viruses, sneezing, runny noses, and head congestion for a long time. Amen!

I Don’t Get It …

10 Mar

… the movie I hated the other night is the same one Ty Burr gave three-and-a-half stars to in today’s Boston Globe. I’m all for a difference of opinion, and I generally respect Ty Burr’s take on films, being a longtime reader of his from back when he was on staff at Entertainment Weekly, but come on … Game 6 really is not a very good movie. And it’s definitely not that good.

Hulk Big. Hulk Very Big.

9 Mar

I’m not sure why, but I’m really quite intrigued by this photo of Lou Ferrigno, best known as the Hulk from TV. Look how huge this guy is!

And that’s my random posting for today.

Adding Insult to Injury

8 Mar

When you’re like me, and you’ve gone more than a month without seeing a movie, you hope that the first one you see is going to be good. Well, Game 6 is not. Tonight I went to what was apparently the film’s premiere, not just in Boston but anywhere. The director, Michael Hoffman, was in attendance, as was one of the producers and what I guess were a few VIPs, since there were some reserved rows that weren’t for the press. And there was an after-party at Game On! that I got invited to. After seeing the movie, I had no interest in celebrating.

Game 6 is an independent movie starring Michael Keaton that takes place on October 25, 1986: the day of both the infamous penultimate World Series game between the Red Sox and the New York Mets, and the day that in the film, Keaton’s character’s latest play opens on Broadway. Keaton, supposedly, is a die-hard Sox fan who is prone to failure, and who waxes philosophical on failure and the Sox and how he knows they’re going to lose tonight, despite being up three games to two. Basically, the movie is episodic in nature — there’s the scene with his friend, then the scene with his wife, then the scene with his daughter, then the scene with the actor, then with the producer, etc. etc. — and none of it amounts to much. For a die-hard Sox fan whose team is on the brink of ending what was then a 64-year curse, Keaton sure isn’t all that excited. Nor is he all that involved with the fact that his play is opening. And there’s this line of dialogue, “This could be it,” which is clearly supposed to be a less-than-subtle message about hope and possibility, etc., and you’d criticize it for being lame if it wasn’t so pointless in context.

And just when you think the film can’t get much worse, there’s an extended sequence — what I would think would be the central scene — that takes place during the game, involving a cab driver, her grandson, and Keaton’s character. It takes place in perhaps the quietest bar in all of New York City. During Game Six of the World Series. Despite the place being packed with fans. And no one seems to notice that Keaton’s rooting for the Sox, albeit in a minimal fashion. And the kid seems to be the least interested in the whole thing out of everybody. A kid! With his team in the World Series. And he’s in a bar on a Saturday night! Doesn’t anyone care??

And then, just when you think it couldn’t get any worse than that … Well, suffice it to say, before the game, Hoffman took a couple of questions from the audience. One person stood up and asked, “Couldn’t you do something about the ending?” This was before seeing the movie, when the person was referring to the ending of the game. The movie ends a couple hours after the game does, and man, is the last scene contrived. Turns out Downey and Keaton’s character have something quite important in common (I’ll let you guess what it is), and despite the fact that — and I know I’m ruining it here, but you really don’t care, do you? — Downey’s just been making out with Keaton’s daughter, and that he’s the most hated, most feared critic in all of New York, the two bond and become friends. Hoffman explained that folks like Keaton and Bebe Neuwirth and Robert Downey Jr. and Catherine O’Hara did the movie, getting paid just $500 a day, because they loved the material. I can’t see what attracted Downey to the film, based on this last scene. It’s downright painful.

Game 6 is going to get a limited opening here in Boston and in New York soon before going wider in the next few weeks, and it’ll probably be greeted with some kind of fanfare here because of the Sox connection and all (there was a channel 7 news crew interviewing people after the screening). But despite the way the game ended up for the Sox (and in the spirit of full-disclosure, I’ll admit to being a Mets fan in ’86), I’d say the movie makes it worse. This film gets a D. It’s probably not even worth this review.