Hey there. So since I was blogging about The Ten Commandments not too long ago, and I was just tipped off to this really funny mash-up, I thought I’d post it here so y’all can take a look.
Just click on it to play, or go to YouTube.com and watch it there. Enjoy.
You know a movie’s bad when you spend the bulk of it thinking of what title you’re going to give your review. Hmmm … “It’s a Disaster?” “A New Low?” “Waterlogged?” “That Sinking Feeling?” Or maybe “Going Down.” Well, whatever you call it — and I like what I chose — Poseidon is a pretty bad movie. It starts with the first shot of the boat, which looks totally fake and unbelievable. And it really only gets worse from there, with lame dialogue, forced acting, and a character whose actual name in the credits is “Lucky Larry” (I’ll give you one guess if he makes it out alive). Perhaps the best part about the movie is how efficient it is; it takes just 5 or 10 minutes for the wave to hit and turn the ship upside down. Why get held up with all that pesky plot and character development, right? Hell, there’s not even an impending sense of doom or a warning or anything. The wave just appears, hit the boat, and the movie gets underway with these characters you don’t know and don’t care about — and really, don’t even like — trying to find a way out. But anyway, no need to belabour the point. The original Poseidon Adventure was no Shakespearean classic or anything, and I haven’t seen it in years, but it was infinitely better than this waste of time remake. It’s not even ridiculously funny bad, it’s just bad. So, Poseidon gets a C– on the Martin Meter.
Mission: Impossible 3 is alright. Tom Cruise is at his enthusiastic, speaking-with-such-forced-integrity, stunt-happy best, and there are some good action scenes, but all told, I wasn’t blown away.
First off, it’s funny to even call this the third movie in the Mission Impossible series. Since each film was directed by a different director and, with few exceptions, has a different cast, there’s hardly any continuity between them. This one just felt like an action flick, independent of the series.
In fact, were it not for the theme song, it probably could have been a big-screen, male-centered episode of Alias.
I mean, the movie plays in a number of ways like an early episode of the show: Ethan keeps his real job a secret from those he loves, there’s a kooky computer/IT guy, there’s a torture scene that takes place in a dentist’s chair in China, plenty of disguises, and oh yeah, even Greg Grunberg has a quick cameo (he is writer/director J.J. Abrams’ best friend and J.J. puts him in most everything he does).
The only real difference is that Tom Cruise doesn’t kick ass like Jennifer Garner does. (Or did.) Continue reading
I can’t say I was personally affected by the events of 9/11.
Thankfully, I knew no one who was on any of the four planes, and even though I am originally from New York and know many people who live there, no one I know died in the attack on the World Trade Center.
That said, I was really personally affected by the new movie United 93. And really, it’s hard not to be.
This is top-notch filmmaking, the kind of you-are-there movie that puts you on the plane, in the air traffic control centers, on the seat of your pants, and makes you feel like you were a part of the events of that day.
It all feels authentic, and it takes place in real time in almost documentary fashion, so you feel the dread when simple things happen, like the closing of the plane doors. And there’s probably no moment as uneasy as when the plane actually takes off. Continue reading
One thing I’ve been wondering lately, and I hope it’s not offensive to be posting this today, is when the showing of The Ten Commandments on TV became an Easter tradition.
The film tells the story of Passover and is all about the plight of the Jews in Egypt. There’s no mention of Jesus or resurrection, or anything else that has to do with Easter, as far as I know.
And I acknowledge that non-Jews consider the Old Testament to be holy texts, and that the Ten Commandments themselves are relevant to other religions, but what about The Ten Commandments movie relates to Easter?
Why doesn’t it air more intentionally closer to the time of Passover, when it would be more appropriate? Continue reading
This story is a couple days old now, but last week, an employee in a Norfolk, Mass., jail showed Brokeback Mountain to the inmates. When the “by-the-book warden” caught wind of what movie was being shown, he ordered it be turned off immediately. Politics aside, here’s my real problem with this: they turned off the movie with just 10 minutes to go. Now, I don’t care what movie they were watching. You don’t turn a movie off so close to the end. I mean, sure, I’m all for punishing criminals, and I didn’t exactly think Brokeback ended sooooo well (though I did see it twice and liked it), but still … show the whole movie and then reprimand this employee. Turning off a movie so close to the end is just not cool.
When Friends with Money begins, you’re inclined to sympathize with Olivia, who is the only single member in a group of four women friends, three of whom are rich.
Olivia goes from one dead-end career to another (presently, she’s a maid) and one dead-end relationship to another. She’s so directionless and inert that her friends, when discussing which valuable cause they’re giving their money to, joke that they should give it to her.
In fact, the only real thing she has going for her is that she’s played by Jennifer Aniston.
Friends with Money would therefore have you hate Olivia’s friends because they are all so self-involved with their own lives, and the seeming glory of having a spouse and a house and kids and money, that they are completely oblivious to how unhappy Olivia is.
One of their spouses even says, “She doesn’t look unhappy.”
Well, one of the great things about this movie is that you come to see that the friends are not ignoring Olivia’s predicament at all. Instead, they each have significant problems of their own, from crumbling marriages to anger and resentment.
Thus, you have equal sympathy for all four of the women, and the film becomes a true ensemble piece about what defines happiness and success and friendship. Continue reading
Headed over to the ole U last night for the award ceremony of the annual SunDeis film festival. Mostly, it was because Jesse L. Martin and S. Epatha Merkerson were going to be there; she was being recognized as the “Entertainer of the Year,” and he was presenting the award to her. Given that I hadn’t seen a single film in the festival, the ceremony was hit and miss for me as far as entertainment value. There were the expected (and bad) Brokeback Mountain jokes, and other expected jokes, like when the music director was presenting an award and he kept getting “interrupted” by the orchestra. But some speeches were genuinely good, including the Best Actress winner, who made hysterical reference to Martin and Merkerson sitting right in front of the podium. Others ran the gamut from low-key student humble, to cocky “You’ll all be working for me soon” ego, which was a bit of a buzzkill, since some of these folks didn’t even go to Brandeis.
When it was Martin’s turn, he didn’t disappoint. The festival coordinator introduced him by saying what award he was there to present, but really, “how do you measure … measure a year?” And then Martin just riffed for five minutes on his good friend, talking about her unparalleled ability to curse, about her having been on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse (as Reba the mail lady), and about their car accident earlier in the day — making sure to show off that he was fine. Then Merkerson took the stage and the two became a classic comedy duo. There was a winking admission that she always brings her “brother” Jesse L. Martin with her because she only seems to get press coverage when he’s with her. And Merkerson also revealed that 
she initially thought she was getting an award from Barnard College, which is located on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. But she and Martin were excited to arrive in Boston and to have a white stretch limo waiting for them, courtesy of the festival. “I said to Jesse, ‘We’re going to the prom!'” she recalled. She did her S. Epatha Merkerson thing, which we all saw when she won the Golden Globe, the SAG award, and the Emmy, only here it was looser and more profane, and just plain funny. Clearly, both felt like this was the most random thing they’d done in a long time. I’m sure there’ll be a video clip on the SunDeis web site soon.
Also in attendance were Anita Hill (left), now a Brandeis professor, who acted as official ambassador for the university before the show began, and lifetime achievement award recipients Celeste Holm (Gentleman’s Agreement, above) and Margaret O’Brien (Meet Me in St. Louis). For a student film festival in Waltham, Mass., it was an impressive evening.
Went to see V for Vendetta last night with Amy and John. Good, solid entertainment. I’ll never hear the 1812 Overture without thinking of London exploding overhead (what an ending). And while I was a bit confused by some of the relationships, I’ll give V the benefit of the doubt and say my head was elsewhere and I missed the explanation. Oh, and of course, the movie has Natalie Portman, who I’ve become quite fond of in recent months.
V is a high-falutin’ comic book movie that aims to make grand political statements — “Behind this mask is a man, and behind this man is an idea. And ideas are bulletproof” is one line spoken by the masked terrorist, simply named V. “People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people” is another — but there’s so much of that kind of talk that it’s a bit amusing when such lines are spoken. Another curiosity is the fact that V has this ornate and rather large underground lair, and yet the government, which is supposedly this all-knowing dictatorship, has no idea where he’s hiding out. And it’s not nearly as grand or exciting a movie as, say, Batman Begins, but seeing V for Vendetta is certainly not a bad way to spend two hours. I give it a B for … well, not for bad but for um, bang.
Martin's Musings 