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Cure Pantlessteria!

20 Nov

Dear readers — and specifically, dear male readers — today I bring you the belated news that we are right in the middle of Pants Awareness Month.

This important month is brought to you by a San Francisco–based company called Cordarounds.com, which — yes — sells pants.

But not just pants. All kinds of pants: corduroy pants, seersucker pants, bike to work pants, smoking jackets, and much more.

So shocker of shockers, they have a real investment in this campaign.

In a press release sent out to announce the month, they say “Every autumn, millions of American men tragically go pantless while their fellow citizens turn a blind eye. This is the terrible affliction known as ‘Pantlessteria’ — more commonly referred to as ‘Sansapant Syndrome,’ ‘Trousernot,’ or ‘Nay Slacks disease.'” Continue reading →

No One

1 Jul

Sometime in June 2005, I was asked at the Virgin Megastore on Newbury Street (before it was a lame Best Buy) if I wanted to buy a $1 wristband to support One, the organization founded by Bono to combat world hunger, poverty, and other global issues.

I’m on record as saying I don’t support hunger, so I said yes, and almost instantly, I put the wristband on my wrist.

Over the years, people would ask me what the white wristband meant, and I would often use the same line: it’s my way of identifying myself as a single person. That, or I’d say a census taker came by, saw I was single, and told me to wear the wristband.

I enjoyed extending the story to explain that if I ever saw someone on the street wearing one of these wristbands, I’d know she was available and a potential mate.

I guess it’s safe to say that I supported the cause of ending my single status more than that of ending world hunger. And to that end, I always wore the wristband.

Always.

Annoyingly and unattractively so, it never came off. (Except for my sister’s wedding, when she asked me to remove it. Hey, you don’t mess with a bride.)

Well, this past weekend I finally took the wristband off.

For good.

No, it’s not because I’ve started dating someone. And amazingly enough, its not because I realized the wristband was probably counter-productive to getting women to go out with me (though I suppose there may be something to that).

It’s just that, um, er, well, ah, I finally decided that the wristband’s kinda lame.

And I think everyone agrees because I never see anyone wearing any kind of wristband. Not white ones, not red ones — not even the yellow ones that were so ubiquitous a year or two ago.

In fact, I don’t think I ever saw another person wearing a white wristband in the entire three-year period I had one on.

But passing fad aside, what happened?

Those yellow Livestrong bracelets were everywhere. Now they’re nowhere.

I’ll admit, my wristband came off partly because it was just not cool anymore to wear it. But that’s me and I’m lame like that.

Where are all the other people who are less impressionable than me? What happened to their bracelets?

Kids Wear the Darndest Things …

25 Oct

Another addition to the “Funny Things to Put on Your Kids” files:

Kidioms is a new line of baby onesies and T-shirts that, ahem, “combine the style and names that adults love with the familiar but original images that kids adore.” (That’s according to the email I received today from a PR rep.) Apparently, the company was founded by three fathers who were frustrated by baby clothes that were either too sweet or edgy, and wanted something both cool and whimsical for their children to wear.

Thus, Kidioms was created. Now you, too, can let your toddler walk (or crawl) around with a t-shirt that says “Bad Ass,” “Chick Magnet” or, yes, even “Eager Beaver.”

I suppose it’s a good thing the kids just think the pictures are cute.

Tie One On

20 Oct

Since it’s officially fall, allow me to announce that today is the first Tie Thursday of the 2005–06 season. From now until May (or, depending on the weather, June), I’ll be wearing a tie every Thursday, just as I’ve done for the last few years. Continue reading →

Their Future’s So Bright …

15 Oct

Frankly, I’m tired of this rain. I’m not sure how Noah dealt with it. And this is coming from a guy who calls Singin’ in the Rain his all-time favorite movie. So as an antidote to this miserable weather, here’s something fun I’ve been holding onto for a while now: another piece of random mail I received recently at work.

A company called ParkerG decided babies need more fashionable sunglasses that don’t look like they come straight out of Revenge of the Nerds (yes, that’s the marketing message they’re going with). Apparently, they’re all the rage among celebrity babies (I’m told Courtney Cox Arquette’s and Debra Messing’s kids both wear them).

Um, I love a cute kid just as much as the next person (see Simon Says!) but I don’t think any mother — celeb or not — would want her baby looking as silly as these babies do.


I guess some people just have too much time on their hands …

On the bright side, maybe sometime soon we’ll all have reason to wear sunglasses again.