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A League of Morons

15 Sep

Oh well. The Coen brothers’ latest, Burn After Reading, is a bit of a disappointment. Their last film, the Oscar-winning No Country for Old Men, was a brilliant but awfully serious affair, so I don’t blame them for wanting to tackle a trifle like this one. I just wish it had the laughs and charm that a similarly light comedy like, say, the totally underrated Intolerable Cruelty did.

At least those two films have one good thing in common: George Clooney, who here stars as Harry, a womanizing charmer, who gets involved with Linda (Frances McDormand), a woman seeking money for four body-enhancing surgeries, who works at a gym with Chad (Brad Pitt), a dim-witted trainer who happens upon a CD filled with the security secrets of Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich), a former CIA analyst who is writing a memoir about his life in the agency, and whose wife (Tilda Swinton) is also involved with Harry. Got all that? It’s a twisty plot that meanders and doesn’t really ever go anywhere (intentionally), mostly because the characters are all basically morons.

There are some good reaction shots, and McDormand and Pitt seem to be having the most fun, but for my money, the best part of the entire movie is the last five minutes, when J. K. Simmons and David Rasche‘s characters try to make sense of it all. I think the Coens needed to put their characters in the film earlier and more often because their deadpan confusion is hysterical and the only thing in the film that really works. Burn wants to be zany, wacky fun, but it’s only mildly amusing. I’ll take Clooney’s Everett McGill or Miles Massey over Harry any day. So rank this one with the Coens’ The Ladykillers remake as a subpar Coen brothers movie. As I said: Oh well. They can’t all be Fargo or O Brother, Where Art Thou? I’m giving Burn a C+.

Three’s a Crowd

25 Aug

You can say this (among other things) about Woody Allen as a filmmaker: He sure does know how to give his movies a sense of place.

His latest, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, unfolds in Spain (largely in, yes, Barcelona) and man if it isn’t just the greatest commercial for that city.

A (mostly unnecessary) narrator gives us the film’s basic premise: two best friends, Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson), are spending the summer abroad.

Both have different views about life and love: Vicky is more uptight and methodical (not to mention engaged), and Cristina is more carefree and spontaneous.

Both of their lives are changed when they meet Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), a painter just out of a troubled marriage (to María Elena, played by Penélope Cruz). Continue reading →

Method to Their Madness

16 Aug

From its inspired, brilliant first 10 minutes, right on up to the closing credits, you’ll be on the floor laughing yourself silly over Tropic Thunder. This satire of Hollywood pretension, action films, Vietnam War films, method acting, tyrannical studio heads, overzealous agents, Oscar bait, and basically anything related to the art of moviemaking, is just fall-down flat-out funny. No, those trailers at the start of the film — before the credits — aren’t for real movies, but they’re totally dead-on. All the acting — by Ben Stiller (who also cowrote and directed), Jack Black, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise, Nick Nolte, Danny McBride, and especially Robert Downey Jr. — is hysterical. The screenplay is filthy and at times offensive, but always meant in good fun. To ruin any of this movie’s pleasures would be wrong, so I’ll just tell you it’s the funniest movie of the summer and give it an A–. The film’s tagline is Get Some. I agree.

High Wire

10 Aug

On the morning of August 7, 1974, while many New Yorkers were hurrying to work, a lithe Frenchman named Philippe Petit was more than 100 stories above them, walking from the top of one of the Twin Towers to the other and back again.

The story of this amazing and unlikely feat is told in the fantastic new documentary Man on Wire.

Why did Petit do it?

Well, it’s almost the same answer as the one given by George Leigh Mallory when he was asked why he was attempting to climb Mount Everest: “Because it’s there.”

Petit, too, is driven by simple motivation. He’s a performer, and he thinks that to walk on a tightrope between the buildings would be an act of incredible beauty. Continue reading →

The Monkey’s Out of the Bottle

1 Aug

Like any good buzz, Pineapple Express takes a little while to sink in and take effect.

And once you get past the first, oh, 10-15 minutes, you’re in for a good time.

Not coincidentally, the uptick in the film’s quality comes at just about exactly the same time that James Franco comes on the screen, playing Seth Rogen’s drug dealer. Franco’s Saul sells Rogen’s Dale a rare and exclusive brand of pot called Pineapple Express, and after witnessing a murder (don’t ask), Dale leaves his roach behind. Thus, the bad guys know exactly who to look for, sending Dale and Saul on the run.

Comedy ensues. Continue reading →

I Think You Should Abstain

30 Jul

If the thesis of Swing Vote is true, that one person can make a difference, then here is my question: why couldn’t that person be an editor? Kevin Costner stars as Bud, a stupid, lazy, selfish drunk who (amazingly enough) has a whip-smart, politically-savvy and awfully precocious daughter, Molly. Bud couldn’t care less about the presidential election (between, amazingly enough, Kelsey Grammer and Dennis Hopper), but through circumstances not even worth getting into here, he holds the final result of the election in his hands. Great. If only the guy was remotely likable and/or smart enough to realize what morons he was making the candidates into when they descend on his town and try to win him over. If only his daughter wasn’t so angelic that she’s beyond cliche. If only the screenplay didn’t sound like it was written by a complete amateur. If only the aforementioned editor had decided to take a half hour off the running time of this movie — at least. If only I cared enough to list all the things wrong with this movie, and if only you cared enough to read about them. Frankly, my guess is you don’t even care enough to see this movie, so I’m just going to give it a D and call it a day.

More Growing Up Needed

29 Jul

The makers of the new documentary American Teen would have you believe that their movie is a modern-day Breakfast Club, what with its rip-off poster and references to the classic John Hughes film in its trailer. And sure enough, both films focus on the classic archetypes we know so well: the jock, the brain, the outcast, the princess, etc. But that’s where the two films differ: one was an original look at teenage angst and the other is a snapshot of teens that screams “been there/done that.”

In director Nanette Burstein’s film, we meet five high school seniors in Warsaw, Indiana: Hannah, the misfit; Colin, the jock; Jake, the nerd; Megan, the bitch; and Mitch, the charmer. Their stories and personalities are ones we know all too well, having gone through high school and having watched countless reality shows over the years. The kids don’t know life outside Warsaw, so their dramas are all amplified to an expected degree. We see the frustration Megan feels when her choice of prom theme is overruled and the heartbreak of Jake’s repeated attempts to find love. There’s Colin’s struggle to lead his basketball team and earn a scholarship, and Mitch’s pursuit of a girlfriend who may put his social standing at risk. And that’s why you sort of have to laugh when Hannah’s boyfriend dumps her shortly after she rhapsodizes about how she is in a relationship that will actually last beyond high school. The stories are just too predictable.

To Burstein’s credit, though, while the students do all fall into their expected storylines, she manages to make you care about some of them. Hannah, in particular, stands out for her determined attempts to leave Warsaw and start a new life. Jake, too, is an endearing personality. But Megan and Colin don’t seem to add much new to their respective “types,” and all the usual cliches apply (if you don’t count Colin’s Elvis-impersonating father, that is). So in the end, American Teen is about as generic as its title implies. It’s a pleasant two hours, but it’s by no means a must-see. I’m giving it a B&ndash.

A Mix of Fergie and Jesus

21 Jul

The nice thing about my not having seen Talladega Nights, Semi-Pro, or Blades of Glory is that now, Step Brothers actually feels sorta fresh, and not like another lame retread of the same Will Ferrell jokes I’ve seen so many times before.

Reteaming with his Talladega costar John C. Reilly, Ferrell plays Brennan, a 39-year-old stunted growth adult who still lives with his mother. Reilly plays Dale, a 40-year-old stunted growth adult who still lives with his father. When the two parents fall in love and get married, Brennan and Dale become reluctant step brothers who fight like cats and dogs.

But they find common ground (velociraptors, John Stamos, sleepwalking, etc.) and all is well.

And then it’s not good.

And then it is again. Continue reading →

Seriously Good

19 Jul

I’m happy to report that everything you’ve heard, all that hype, is true: The Dark Knight is awesome.

More crime thriller than comic book movie, this film simply raises the game — for Batman movies, for movies adapted from comic books, for summer movies, for action movies, and maybe even for movies in general.

And that’s not even taking into account how cool it is to watch on an IMAX screen.

The Dark Knight is just one great movie. Continue reading →

Not So High

15 Jul

I wish I was more excited about The Wackness. This movie, about a New York teen who sells marijuana as a summer job and falls in love with his shrink’s stepdaughter, looked pretty cool, what with its soundtrack of 1990s hip-hop and a seemingly amusing hangdog performance by Josh Peck. Alas, the movie doesn’t live up to my own self-generated hype and it ends up being less than dope. Yes, as you may have heard, Ben Kingsley and Mary-Kate Olsen make out in one scene, but that’s mostly just a tease; the scene isn’t even necessary, and it just further emphasizes how little credibility Kingsley’s character has. There are a few good lines and a couple decent laughs, and Peck’s performance does have its moments, but overall, I got no buzz from The Wackness, and that’s why I’m giving it a C-.

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