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She’s Bringing Sexy Back. Way Back.

25 Jan

Alright, it’s only been two weeks and I’m already starting to tire of American Idol. It’s not that I think Simon and co. are too mean. On the contrary. It’s just that I wish — really wish — the producers would show some restraint and not put on some of the truly awful, attention-seeking people. It’s one thing when there are people who think they’re good but actually suck, and they’re cut down to size. That is funny. But some of these people who just have no chance and only want to be on tv simply wastes viewers’ time (aside from the fact that watching the show in the first place feels like a waste of time). Like that first guy Wednesday night, Ian something or other, who had that thick Brooklyn accent and barely even sang. Or that girl Sarah, who admitted she couldn’t sing and that she was tone deaf, and actually thought the judges would teach her how to sing during the competition, and then wouldn’t leave when they turned her down. These people shouldn’t be called back in the first place, and shouldn’t be given any airtime. I’d rather see the good people, with scattered bad ones in there. Enough of these two-hour, awful people only audition episodes. This season isn’t really shaping up to be any good so far.

Want to know how bad it’s been? Check out this video below of a woman from Memphis who thinks she’s sexy, very sexy, and who says her “confidentiality” is a key part of her style. Why do I continue to watch this show? I have no idea. And why am I writing about it? I think the better question is, why are you reading?

Dreamy

3 Dec

If you’re at all interested, just wanted to point out that my profile of Jennifer Hudson, which appears in the new issue of Continental, is now online. Jennifer, you may recall, was a finalist on American Idol a few years ago (the year Fantasia won), and she’s likely to be an Oscar-winner for her role in the new movie, Dreamgirls. I got to chat with her on the way up, which I thought was pretty cool.

Also in this issue is a story about the new show High Fidelity, which opens on Broadway this week (it’s based on the movie and book). You may recall I saw the show when it was in Boston a couple months back, and while I didn’t love it, I did think the music was good. Anyway, I hope the show does well regardless.

Last Idol Post Ever

25 May

… or at least, the last one this season.

If you didn’t watch the American Idol finale last night but can appreciate watching a dorky guy who thinks he’s “the next Clay Aiken” getting humiliated in front of an international audience — or, if you just want to see it again — then check out this clip. I literally had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.

The End Is Here

24 May

Damn that Katherine McPhee. Despite her awful performance overall last night — if I see her perform “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” one more time I’m gonna hurl — she’s got that KT Tunstall song ”Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” stuck in my head. And despite Simon’s opinion that Taylor won last night, and despite the fact that I don’t really like either of the final two, I’d still rather Katherine win it all. If you don’t see them perform and simply listen to their voices, she’s got the better, more pleasant one. (And if you do have to watch, well, she’s darned perty.) I just wish she and Taylor weren’t saddled with those God Awful first singles. (If you want to download MP3s of last night’s show, go to this guy’s blog, which I found this morning. And if you want to hear a real singer, the guy who should have won, click here.) Ugh. I’m still so pissed at myself for getting sucked in this season.

Anyway, the TV season ends tonight at 11pm (after Lost) and summer begins tomorrow, as far as I’m concerned. I can hardly wait.

Spring, Ahead

11 May

I figured since yesterday’s postings now feel dated (not only did the Yankees win last night, but Chris Daughtry was kicked off American Idol), I needed to get something else up here quickly. Pickings are slim — I don’t have a whole heck of a lot to say today — but I thought I’d pass along the exciting news that in the vote of pro and con, with everything else going on in the world today, The New York Times has enthusiastically come out in favor of Spring in today’s paper. So now we know: Spring is good. Phew. That’s a relief. I can only imagine the contentious debate this editorial triggered among the editors. Now, if only the glorious weather written about in the Times would come a little bit farther north…
(Thanks Doug for the tip, and Evan for the encouragement.)

Elliott Yamin Is the Man

10 May

Here’s my new American Idol theory: Taylor Hicks is simply William Hung with more talent. They’re both goofy and dorky and awkward, both difficult to watch for sustained periods of time, both can’t dance, and really, can’t you see Taylor recording a novelty album (or two or three — Taylor Sings Christmas Songs!, for example) after the whole thing is over to cash in on his gimmick appeal, just like William Hung did? So that’s why I’m rooting for him (or Katherine McPhee) to go home tonight. I’ve finally had it with Taylor. And Katherine, well, Elvis’ songs weren’t written for a woman to sing in the first place, and she really didn’t help her cause by over-dramaticizing (is that a word?) “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and doing the totally clichéd, unbelievably cheesy “Hound Dog”/”All Shook Up” medley.

By contrast, I’ve been calling Elliott Yamin my favorite for weeks now (documented here), and I hope that last night’s performances finally proved that he’s worthy of being there — if not in the final two with Chris Daughtry, who looks unquestionably to be the winner at this point. Elliott’s performance of “If I Can Dream” is one of the first performances on the show this season that I would truly like to own. It was really close in quality to Barry Manilow‘s own cover of the song, which has been the main way I’ve known it up till now. (Don’t laugh. Barry actually does “If I Can Dream” really well. Go to iTunes and hear it for yourself.)

Still, last night’s show was one of, if not the best one all season. It’s going to be a close vote tonight. They’re all just about equally good. That said, my support is fully in Elliott’s corner now. When he goes, I lose interest in whoever’s left.

So that’s my morning-after Idol commentary.

They Aren’t the Champions

12 Apr

Last night’s American Idol was supposed to be good. It was all Queen songs. I was actually looking forward to it all day, embarrassing as that is to admit. (I really don’t have any shame, do I?) And there were some good performances, namely Elliott Yamin’s “Somebody to Love” and Paris Bennett’s “The Show Must Go On” (mostly). And Kellie Pickler surprised me with her not half-bad cover of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” But otherwise, the show was pretty embarrassing, as it’s been for the past three weeks.

What’s happened to this season of Idol? Didn’t it start out so well? Weren’t there more great performers? Where did they all go? Chris Daughtry has fallen so far so fast that it’s hard to imagine he’s still a front runner to win. (The guy needs more range. Seriously.) Kellie’s dumb blonde thing was fun at first, but now it’s clear she’s just a moron. And Bucky? What is he still doing there? But the biggest offense this season has been Ace, who had one good performance — of George Michael’s “Father Figure” — during the semifinal round and has somehow been able to coast along until now. As bad as some of the other folks are, Ace is out-classed and out-performed on a weekly basis. I’m hoping his embarrassing cover of “We Will Rock You” will be his final performance on the show. (Talk about poor song choice, especially if that’s the song they make you sing after you’ve just been kicked off.) I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Ace has to go.

So who am I rooting for? Well, at this point, none of them. However, if I had to pick someone to cheer for, I’d have to say it would be Elliott Yamin. I think he’s got the best voice of them all, even if he looks nothing like a pop star.

Gone Surfin’

30 Mar

I’ve had some thoughts about different things I’ve watched on TV in the past few days…

* I love the new show Sons & Daughters. Best way to describe it is to say it’s like The Office, except it’s about a family. By that, I mean it’s funny in that painful way The Office excels at, and it’s not sitcomy (i.e.: no laugh track). My favorite character on the show is Carrie, the sarcastic daughter (or niece, I suppose, if you base everything around the lead character, Cameron). She always gets the best lines and has a perfect sardonic delivery. But, like, here’s an example of the humor on the show: On this week’s episode, the grandmother is taken to the hospital because she apparently had a heart attack. It turns out to just be angina. So the whole family gathers in her room, and the high school age grandson, who is a smart-ass but dumb as a brick, says to her, “How’s your vagina, Grandma?” Cracked me up. Sons & Daughters airs Tuesday nights at 9 p.m. on ABC. They show two episodes every week.

* The reason Lost appears to have dropped in quality this year is because of episodes like last night, which was another above-average Locke episode. His episodes are always better than the others (no pun intended). Cool stuff going on in the hatch. And it’s these kinds of episodes that make the “average” episodes (like last week’s, about Jin and Sun) seem not as good. And in other news, sucks to be Harold Perrineau, doesn’t it? His character went off in search of his son months ago, and hasn’t been seen since. And there’s no acknowledgement of his whereabouts, either, like no one cares. Are we to assume he died, or will he be back by season’s end?

* What About Brian?, that new show starting in April on ABC looks like it’s right up my alley, if not a little too true to life. Can’t wait to watch it and wallow.

* Bar none, the best news show out there is Keith Olbermann’s nightly Countdown on MSNBC. The guy’s got a sharp wit, and a great tone. And I love the way he beats up on Bill O’Reilly most every night.

* Felicity is the new 90210. Time was, I’d wake up on Saturdays and Sundays and plop myself on the couch until noon, watching the 90210 reruns on FX. Then they went off the air and I got a life. Well, now that Felicity reruns are on Saturday mornings on the WE channel from 10am to 12, I’m back where I was, lifeless. But I’ll tell you, when that show was good, it was really good. And Ian Gomez (Javier) was one of the more underappreciated actors when it was on.

* It’s funny how there are just some movies you can sit and watch all the way through on cable, and if you go out and buy them on DVD, you never have the patience to watch them. Like Pleasantville (which I own, and is still in the plastic) or The American President. Sunday night I found myself watching My Best Friend’s Wedding. All of it. And yet, if it was in my DVD collection, I’d never watch it.

* I’d mention American Idol, but really, what for? It was pretty bad this week, and Lisa Tucker getting voted off was no big surprise. And actually, now that Kevin Covais is gone and Chris Daughtry shows signs of vulnerability, and all the finalists seem so uniformly average, I’m losing interest.

Ace Is a Hole

22 Mar

I’m not sure what I’m sorrier for: the fact that I haven’t been posting all that much over the last week and a half, or the fact that this is a post about American Idol. You see, as much as I’ve tried to avoid it, I’m now completely back on the sauce. Last year I was able to go the entire season without watching a single episode. This year I have a series recording set on my DVR. Oh well.

So for better or for worse, embarrassment be damned, here are my thoughts on last night’s show … We all know Kevin Covais should go home. We all know Lisa Tucker will go home. But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Ace is the worst one of the bunch. I’d love it if he received the lowest number of votes and is sent home tonight.

Just watch the guy when he’s singing. He looks like he’s shell-shocked. Like he was playing a joke, thought he’d coast on his looks alone, and is freaked out because he doesn’t know how much longer he will get away with it and when he’ll be revealed as a total fake. The guy can’t sing all that well, inserts his lame falsetto just to win a few extra votes, and just generally sucks. So if we could vote on who to kick off, Ace would get my vote. Yes, even over Kevin Covais, who I think we just have to live with for a couple more weeks despite the fact that he looks 12 and is clearly being out-classed and out-sung by most everyone else. Some folks make it to the finals just to bring in ratings, talent be damned.

And while I’m writing this lame entry, what the hell is up with Paula Abdul? Is she even watching the same show that the rest of us are? How can she love each and every performance unconditionally? Simon is right: this is a singing competition, not one about who looks the best or dances well. And If Randy says someone “worked it out” one more time, I may have to scream.

Who’s going to win? Well, expect Chris Daughtry and Katherine McPhee to be in the finale. That’s no shocker. Mandisa won’t make it, but does it matter? She’s better than all the other contestants anyway and doesn’t need this competition. And sometime really soon, Kelly Pickler’s idiot routine will tire itself out. Sigh … I just wish I didn’t care so much and feel so invested. And for the record, none of them are half as good as Kelly Clarkson was.

P.S. I’m loving that the send-off montage each week is set to Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day,” which I’ve been a fan of for a month or so, before y’all were hearing it on your radio dials. I told you that song would be big.

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