Sometimes, when you set out to make a movie that’s wacky funny, you end up instead with something that’s strange and unfunny. Such is the case with The Men Who Stare at Goats, one of those classic misfires that has almost no redeeming qualities. Starring George Clooney (clearly doing a solid for his friend and producing partner, Grant Heslov, who makes his directorial debut here), Men Who Stare is about a reporter (Ewan McGregor) who tries to impress his wife by going to Iraq. There (or rather, in Kuwait), he meets Clooney’s character, a military man who may or may not be gifted with special psychic powers, who may or may not be retired, and who may or may not still be a part of a top secret military unit that specializes in nonviolent action (such as Jedi mind tricks performed on goats). The film is only sporadically funny, the tone just isn’t right, and Clooney, sadly, seems totally miscast. Just about the only thing worth mentioning positively is Jeff Bridges, who plays the hippie-like leader of the group and seems perfectly cast in his role. Otherwise, Men Who Stare is just weird and unnecessary, and I’m giving it a D.
The Force Is Not Strong Here
8 Nov"Why can’t my hair last?"
19 MarGeorge Clooney is vlogging — that’s video blogging for those not hip to interweb lingo — and despite the fact that he’s doing it to raise awareness of the situation in Chad, the quick dispatches are actually kinda funny, including this one here, where George laments how his hairdo, expensive as it is, should have survived the trip to Chad. Enjoy.
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A League of Morons
15 Sep
Oh well. The Coen brothers’ latest, Burn After Reading, is a bit of a disappointment. Their last film, the Oscar-winning No Country for Old Men, was a brilliant but awfully serious affair, so I don’t blame them for wanting to tackle a trifle like this one. I just wish it had the laughs and charm that a similarly light comedy like, say, the totally underrated Intolerable Cruelty did.
At least those two films have one good thing in common: George Clooney, who here stars as Harry, a womanizing charmer, who gets involved with Linda (Frances McDormand), a woman seeking money for four body-enhancing surgeries, who works at a gym with Chad (Brad Pitt), a dim-witted trainer who happens upon a CD filled with the security secrets of Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich), a former CIA analyst who is writing a memoir about his life in the agency, and whose wife (Tilda Swinton) is also involved with Harry. Got all that? It’s a twisty plot that meanders and doesn’t really ever go anywhere (intentionally), mostly because the characters are all basically morons.
There are some good reaction shots, and McDormand and Pitt seem to be having the most fun, but for my money, the best part of the entire movie is the last five minutes, when J. K. Simmons and David Rasche‘s characters try to make sense of it all. I think the Coens needed to put their characters in the film earlier and more often because their deadpan confusion is hysterical and the only thing in the film that really works. Burn wants to be zany, wacky fun, but it’s only mildly amusing. I’ll take Clooney’s Everett McGill or Miles Massey over Harry any day. So rank this one with the Coens’ The Ladykillers remake as a subpar Coen brothers movie. As I said: Oh well. They can’t all be Fargo or O Brother, Where Art Thou? I’m giving Burn a C+.
Touchdown, But No Extra Point
1 Apr
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you’ve gotta love George Clooney. Nearly everything the guy does is classic and cool, not to mention totally retro. The way he dresses, the way he interacts with the press and the public, and especially the choices he makes in terms of movies — it’s all a throwback to a way things used to be.
His first two directorial efforts, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Good Night, and Good Luck were informed by a classic sensibility and took place in an earlier time. Now, with Leatherheads, Clooney’s third film behind the lens, it’s clear he’s not quite done with the past. And I’m not complaining.
Continue readingHe’s Still the Man
25 Feb
I’ve written previously of my great respect and admiration for George Clooney — not a man-crush, but a real appreciation for the man — and if you want further proof of why I think he’s just so damned cool, all you have to do is read Joel Stein’s article in the new Time magazine. Here’s the scenario: Clooney accepted an invitation to have dinner at Joel’s house, and the two (plus Joel’s wife) downed about four bottles of wine, ate near-raw rack of lamb, and clearly had a great time over the course of about five hours. Oh, and when an alarm of some kind went off, Clooney went all through the house to look for it. (If you follow the link, you can watch the video of him doing so.) Well … color me jealous. How I would love to have been at the table with them, or to have the opportunity to hang out with George myself (with or without his girlfriend). Read the article and I’m sure you’ll feel the same.
A Real Fixer-Upper
6 Oct
It’s no secret that I’m a George Clooney fan, and have been for a while.
So the night that Michael Clayton opened, I was there.
And I’m happy to say, the man does not disappoint.
Here he plays — well, he’s a lawyer, but he’s the kind of guy that high-powered law firms have on staff to fix things in their clients’ favors, not necessarily to get involved in the actual law.
But Clayton’s feeling off his game lately thanks to a bad business decision and a messy divorce, and he says he’s more of a janitor, cleaning up messes.
Either way, he gets enmeshed in a case involving supposed environmental giant U/North and in assisting a colleague who is losing his grip, he finds all is not as it seems with his firm’s prized client. Continue reading
The Nose Plays. The Movie? Sorta
9 Jun
Let me get this out of the way right up top: Ocean’s Thirteen is not the best movie in the series; that would be Ocean’s Five, when Danny and Rusty broke out of prison together so they could steal a diamond from a billionaire real estate developer.
But it’s still better than Ocean’s Nine, undoubtedly the worst movie in the series.
But seriously … and that’s not exactly a bad way to begin … Ocean’s Thirteen is not the movie I was hoping for.
I happen to love the other two (Eleven more than Twelve), mostly because they’re so cool and breezy, and the chemistry between the whole group is so strong that watching the movies is like being one of the boys for two hours.
This latest film is a more serious affair. Continue reading
A Winning Ticket
26 Sep
As always, I try to stay out of the political arena on this blog simply because when it comes to such topics, I’m basically an uninformed idiot. But I have to throw my hat in the ring just briefly today because of Keith Olbermann, and what he said last night on his MSNBC program, Countdown, about Fox News and the attack (and there really is no other word) that was made on Bill Clinton the other day in his interview with Chris Wallace. Keith lately has made a regular habit of editorializing and making an Edward R. Murrow–style “special comment” when the mood strikes. He did so on 9/11 to great effect, and his words last night were again well-written and well-delivered. You can watch a clip here or just read it here. It was great.
And in other news, I hereby support George Clooney for President in 2008, even if he swears he’s not running. Now there’s a guy — an actor, even — who would do great things for this country. Really. You’ve heard me say it before and I’ll say it again: George Clooney is the man. And Keith Olbermann can be George’s vice president. It’s a winning ticket for sure.
Everyone’s a Winner!
6 MarSome quick Oscar reactions:
* I got 16 out of 24 correct. Not bad. Of course, I was happy to get Best Song wrong.
* Crash winning Best Picture was an upset, sure, and I was shocked. I figured Brokeback had it all pretty much sown up. (Didn’t everyone?) I mean, It’s not like Crash is a bad movie or anything (hello, Shakespeare in Love), but even given how Lions Gate was aggressively marketing that movie in the last few months, I never thought it would pull out a win.
* Best Acceptance Speech: George Clooney, by a mile. That guy is just the most well-spoken, most intelligent, most underrated guy in all of Hollywood (despite his three, some would say four, nominations). Damn, was I impressed. No wonder I’m such a huge fan.
* Three 6 Mafia won. That was too funny (and totally cool). But what was up with the “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” production number? Truly bizarre stuff. Whole lotta “witches” jumpin’ ship? Where … in Salem? And those dancers? Huh? How come Dolly Parton didn’t have any backup entertainment?
* Brokeback Mountain, Crash, Memoirs of a Geisha AND King Kong all won three awards. That’s a pretty even distribution. No one film dominated.
* Jennifer Garner. Yes, I saw her trip. I even chuckled. Poor Jennifer. But it was still good to see her back in action.
* I turned quickly to the TV Guide Channel’s preshow to hear this comment from Dolly Parton to Joan Rivers: “Are yours all real? There’s not a real thing about me except my heart.” She then added, “You’ve known me since I was a B-cup.” That was when I quickly turned back to the E! preshow. Joan Rivers makes Guiliana DePandi seem so much more tolerable.
* Kudos to David Letterman for taking part in the opening montage.
* Bravo to Jon Stewart. Thought he did a really good, really different and unconventional, job. At times it was almost like he was too hip for the room, but I laughed the whole way through. And kudos to him for not overdoing the Brokeback jokes.
* Best dressed: A tie between Hillary Swank and Jessica Alba. Second place: Sandra Bullock.
* What was up with Jennifer Lopez’s makeup? Otherwise, she looked great too.
* Can we call a moratorium on all penguins talk from here on out? I mean, really — did the producers and directors of that film have to bring up those stuffed animals when they won? And on a similar topic, does this mean we can all move on from Brokeback and all the Brokeback jokes now that the Oscars are over and it didn’t win Best Picture and now it’s yesterday’s news?
* Really liked the M. Night Shyamalan AmEx commercial. Weird stuff, but it’s pretty cool compared to other ads out there.
* In general, this was the best Oscars in years. It hardly ever dragged, and it was thoroughly entertaining. I mean, really — no one expects the show to actually be over in three hours. And even if you took out two or three of the montages, you’d only be cutting out about 5 or 7 minutes.
* So to borrow and expand upon Jon Stewart’s thought, let me get this straight: Three 6 Mafia are Oscar winners, and Eminem is also an Oscar winner from a couple years back, but people like Robert Altman (not including his honorary one), Alfred Hitchcock, Martin Scorcese, and Paul Giamatti are not? Hmmmmmm. It’s always interesting to put things in perspective like that.
* No kidding, I’m a bit bummed the Oscars are over. As much as the Oscars are overexposed and overhyped, as a movie fan, it’s one of my favorite times of the year, and now it’s a bit of a let-down. When do the summer movies start?
If I Picked the Winners
3 Mar
Since I never did write up a list of my favorite movies of 2005, I figured it was only right for me to post some of my picks for this Sunday’s Oscars. I don’t have strong feelings in many of the categories, and I feel like a good number of them are already pretty well set (which doesn’t generate much interest in picking your own winner), but here goes anyway in a few of the ones I have an opinion about …
Best Picture
Who’s going to win: Brokeback Mountain
How I’d vote: Toss-up between BBM and Munich. While the latter film resonated more with me and would have ranked higher on my list, Brokeback has had the longer-lasting emotional impact, and I saw it twice. As good as it was, I have no real interest in seeing Munich again.
Best Actor
Who’s going to win: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote
How I’d vote: It’d be cool if Terrence Howard won, but I’d agree with the Academy if they chose Hoffman. He really was great, and he’s way overdue for some recognition.
Best Actress
Who’s going to win: Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line
How I’d vote: Wasn’t particularly blown away by Witherspoon or Felicity Huffman, so this one is also a toss-up for me. Because I enjoyed Walk the Line more, however, I’d give my vote to Witherspoon.
Best Supporting Actor
Who’s going to win: George Clooney, Syriana
How I’d vote: Tough call again. Despite my allegiance and loyalty to Clooney, and my liking of Syriana, I’d really like to see Paul Giamatti get some long overdue recognition.
Best Supporting Actress
Who’s going to win: Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener
How I’d vote: Weisz was the best thing in a great movie. She’d have my vote too. Still, even though I didn’t like her movie, I think it’d be cool if Amy Adams won.
Best Documentary Feature
Who’s going to win: March of the Penguins
How I’d vote: Murderball was my favorite movie of 2005, the only one I actually wanted to be longer. So I’m really rooting for it here.
Best Original Song
Who’s going to win: “Travelin’ Thru,” Transamerica
How I’d vote: “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp,” from Hustle & Flow. Let me put it this way: If this song doesn’t win, there’ll be a whole lotta bitches jumpin’ ship.
Best Original Score
Who’s going to win: Gustavo Santaolalla, Brokeback Mountain
How I’d vote: The score for BBM is great music that can be listened to on its own without the movie. I’m hoping John Williams’ two competing scores cancel each other out with the voters.
Otherwise, here are my other picks:
Best Animated Feature: Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
Best Art Direction: Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Cinematography: Brokeback Mountain
Best Costume Design: Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Director: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain
Best Documentary Short: The Mushroom Club
Best Editing: Crash
Best Foreign Language Film: Paradise Now
Best Makeup: The Chronicles of Narnia
Best Animated Short Film: One Man Band
Best Live Action Short Film: Ausreisser (The Runaway)
Best Sound Editing: King Kong
Best Sound Mixing: Walk the Line
Best Visual Effects: King Kong
Best Adapted Screenplay: Brokeback Mountain
Best Original Screenplay: Crash
So there you go. Oh, and one last prediction: Jon Stewart is going to rock. I can hardly wait.