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On the Ninth Day of Hanukkah …

18 Dec

Not sure how many of you folks missed the memo or something, but apparently, Hanukkah is now nine days long. Thanks, Bill-o.

What Are They, Lit?

12 Dec

As Hanukkah comes to a close, I thought I’d mention this crazy story in the Jerusalem Post about a group calling itself Green Hanukkia that tried (I hope unsuccessfully) to get Jews around the world to light at least one less candle this year in support of the environment. According to the group, every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. They estimate that if an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere. Given that the holiday ends tonight at sundown and there are no more candles left to light, I suppose this is a moot issue. But considering that the point of the holiday — one of them, anyway — is to celebrate eight days and nights of light, how do you really justify not lighting candles one night? Doesn’t that contradict the idea of the holiday? It’s not the same thing as using fewer lights on a Christmas tree. If he was Jewish, Bill O’Reilly would never stand for this ‘Attack on Hanukkah’ — especially in light of “the ham incident.” So, I found this idea kinda silly and I wanted to share the story with anyone who would be interested in reading about it. (Oh, and if you don’t know, Hanukkia is another word for menorah.)

Miraculous!

4 Dec

I was thinking about the best way to observe Hanukkah on the blog, and I decided that the most appropriate thing would be to write a post and see if it, too, could last for eight days. So here goes. I hope you enjoy it. Now go put on a yarmulke, tell your friends Monica and Veronica, and rock out on your harmonica while you listen to the LeeVees or Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song.” Whatever you do, I hope you have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!

(And don’t worry, I’ll be back with new posts real soon. I’m not really taking an eight-day vacation.)

I’ll Be Home for Christmas

22 Dec

I can’t remember the last time I was home for Christmas week. (Actually, that’s not true. It was 1999. And I know that because I went to see The Talented Mr. Ripley in Framingham with Farrah on Christmas Day. So let me start over.)

It’s been a long time since I was home for Christmas week. Most years since I was a wee tot I have spent it in Florida with my family. That one time, in 1999, I didn’t have off from work, so I stayed in Boston. It was also the year I went to my last Matzo Ball. So lame. But this year, by choice, I’m staying in Boston. I’m going to have a vacation at home. And I’m really looking forward to it.

How will I spend the week? Well, for one thing, I’m not going to the Matzo Ball, even though Christmas Eve is now apparently “Jewish Valentine’s Day.” Whatever. Instead, I have plans to see a movie and go for Chinese food on Christmas day, the “traditional” Jewish way to spend the holiday. I may come into work one afternoon just to clean up and get organized (we’re off all week). And I may go to lunch with some friends who are working. Oh, and I’ll probably see a few movies. But other than that, I’m an open book. I may just buy my Hanukkah present — a new computer — and set it up. I will likely clean my apartment again, maybe do some more purging. Maybe I’ll take a road trip all the way out to Framingham or Burlington to brave the “after Christmas sale” shoppers. Oh, the options. I sort of like knowing I have a week ahead of me with nothing to do, really, and all the time in the world to do it.

Maybe it’ll actually snow next week. Finally. That would actually be nice. If it does, I promise I won’t complain about being in Boston in the cold instead of in sunny Florida. I’ll be sleeping in my own bed, hanging in my own apartment, sleeping late, coming and going as I please, running errands if I need to, and just doing my own thing, and that’s more exciting to me this year than getting a tan — not that I ever do.

So, as I begin a well-deserved week off, I just wanted to tell y’all that I’ll still be here and blogging all week — though likely not as frequently. If you’re looking for something fun to read, you can count on me to deliver when I can. Have a good one!

I Hate Cold Turkey

29 Dec

It’s hard enough to get into the holiday spirit when you’re in Florida, seeing as the weather is so nice and the neighborhood where my parents live is (by edict of the community’s bylaws) decoration- and light-free. Of course, it also doesn’t help that my parents aren’t into the Christmas spirit like I am, that we keep to ourselves on the big day, and that we barely listen to the radio. So it’s easy to forget that Christmas was only three days ago; it seems like so much longer, if it ever was Christmas. Hell, it barely even feels like Hanukkah, and tonight is only night four (of eight, if you didn’t know). How is it possible that this year, more than any other year I can remember, it seems as if the holiday season came and went quicker than ever? Wasn’t it supposed to be, like, the year of the Super Holiday, what with all three of the major ones happening this last week of December?

To wit: my folks and I ventured off to Sawgrass Mills this evening. If you’ve never heard of Sawgrass Mills, let me describe it simply as the largest outlet mall in the world (or so I’ve been told). End to end, the place must be two miles long, or longer. That’s a lot of stores. Unfortunately, however, less than a week after Christmas, that also meant a lot of stores that were practically empty or in total disarray. It wasn’t even worth walking into the Gap Outlet, and J. Crew was a total bust. My mother said Chico’s was the same. Who could find anything in Ralph Lauren — the place was a mess. I even dashed into the Books-a-Million store to grab a copy of Doug’s book (which hit stores this week), but it seems the copies they had in stock (and I asked) were all gone (already!). Even the take-a-picture-with-Santa booth was already being dismantled. It was as if the entirety of Sawgrass had joined together to confirm that yes, Virginia, there was a Christmas — but now it’s over, thank you very much. Please move on and excuse us while we clean up.

I know some people would rather the holiday season end before it even begins. Many of those same people are probably overjoyed that things have ended so quickly. But I genuinely do enjoy holiday time, and all kidding aside, I wish it was longer. There’s really no other time during the year when people are as happy as they are during the month of December. Think about it — temperatures are falling, days are getting shorter, things are coming to a close (at least calendar-wise), there’s stress from family, stress from work … need I go on? And yet, the music, the lights, the decorations, heck, I submit that even the gift-giving (and receiving) puts people in a happier mood.

So I’m not sure why people and stores are so quick to let it all go. All that build-up, all that hype, and then pffft — just like that, the music stops, the sales get changed from “After Christmas” to “End of Season,” and people become a lot less jolly. It makes New Year’s Eve such an anti-climactic and forced “holiday.” And what do we who live in the northeast have to look forward to after New Year’s? Snow, cold, less daylight, more snow, and more cold … for three more months (at least). Whoop-dee-doo. In Florida, tourism goes down after the holidays. Is that really worth rushing into to? Is that really any better than Christmas?

So I suggest extending the holiday season. After all, Hanukkah is eight days long, and aren’t there supposed to be 12 days of Christmas? Yeah, I know: the decorations have been up since right after Halloween and you’ve heard Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” a few too many times. So what? Weren’t you happier during the past month than you are now? As far as I’m concerned, there really is no good reason to go cold turkey on the holidays. With so little to look forward to until Spring arrives, maybe an extension of the season wouldn’t be so bad. Who’s with me on this one?

Rocking Good Time

21 Dec

In the past couple of weeks I’ve found a new favorite holiday album. That is, a new favorite Hanukkah album. (Sure, it didn’t take much; my options are limited to Klezmer music and Adam Sandler.) It’s The LeeveesHanukkah Rocks. You may have heard one of their songs, “Latke Clan,” on the holiday episode of Grey’s Anatomy — and if your mail service is running on time, you may also have heard it on this year’s edition of A Very Marty Christmas. The guys (Adam Gardner from Guster and Dave Schneider from the Zambonis) opened up for Barenaked Ladies on their recent holiday tour and were also on the Fox25 morning show in Boston this morning singing “Goyim Friends.”

Hanukkah Rocks is filled with catchy, poppy music in the style of the guys’ regular gigs, and the lyrics are knowing and quite funny. In addition to the above, song titles also include “Jewish Girls (At the Matzoh Ball),” “Applesause vs Sour Cream,” and “How Do You Spell Chunnukkahh?” You can hear a few of their songs over at My Space, and the whole album is available at iTunes. And, if you live in the Boston area, you can check them out this Tuesday at The Paradise. Of course, my friend Doug was ahead of the curve with this one and for that I thank him. This is good stuff, whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas … or both.

Update: Actually, scratch that. I now have two new favorite holiday things. The other is that Darlene Love “Christmastime for the Jews” song that was on Saturday Night Live this past weekend. As soon as I can find an MP3 or Quicktime file (and I’ve been looking ever since it aired), this thing will be on constant play.

What’s Next? ‘Holiday Candlesticks?’

1 Dec

There’s been a bit of controversy here in Boston this week because city officials had the nerve — the sheer audacity — to call a giant tree erected on Boston Common a “holiday tree” instead of a “Christmas tree.” Imagine that: government folks wanting to be fair to everyone. I mean, have you ever heard of anything so wrong?

But seriously … In an interview with Fox Television (sigh), Reverend Jerry Fallwell said, “There’s been a concerted effort to steal Christmas.” And Donnie Hatt, the Canadian who grew the tree, told a Canadian newspaper that “If they decide it should be a holiday tree, I’ll tell them to send it back. If it was a holiday tree, you might as well put it up at Easter.”

Now, I might be Jewish, but I love Christmas as much as the next person (maybe you’ve heard me mention something about it). Still, despite being really bothered by both the tone and message of folks like Fallwell and Hatt, I have to say that I think on some level, they’re right. Christmas is the only one of the December holidays that is associated with a tree. There’s no reason for the city’s tree to be inclusive of Hanukkah, for example. It’s a misguided attempt to be P.C. and all-inclusive. I can see officials deciding next week to erect “holiday candlesticks” instead of a “menorah,” and that would be totally wrong on so many levels.

The city should just call their tree a “Christmas tree,” even if it has no religious decoration on it. (Most people will do so anyway.) I would bet that no Jewish person in Boston would ask for a representation of Hanukkah to be added to the tree. For the record, I’m not asking for either of these things, but if Mayor Menino and co. really wanted to be fair, they’d either not have a tree at all (which, of course, would never fly), or they’d also put up a similarly large menorah, and something representative of Kwanzaa and any other holidays, in the same place. And maybe in addition to tomorrow’s tree lighting ceremony, they’d even have lighting ceremonies for all those other festive symbols (yes, one for every night of Hanukkah). My guess is City Councilor Mike Ross would support something like that. After all, as any smart politician should know, when it comes to religion and pleasing the public, it’s all or nothing — and the general populace is too smart not to know what a “holiday tree” really is.